Reflections on Faith and Art

Question

2011-10-24T12:35:00.000-04:00

Is anyone up for a re-boot of this blog? I've thought about it and given my unique life situation at the moment I thought maybe I should get back online and start sharing... what do you think?

Recap of last two months

2011-07-13T14:09:00.003-04:00

Catching up for those of you who aren't local and aren't on my Facebook list. We are moving. Just want others on the same page. I wrote this and posted it to my Facebook notes a few months ago:

Yes. We've been in this house for five years now and have been fixing it up... and we're going to try to sell it?? There is another family that has done this and shared their experience online. We don't know them, but she has done such a fantastic job of expressing why they went this direction that I will be using some of her words to express what we're trying to do:
“what are my dreams?” What am I working toward and why?"

... We prayed and analyzed and ultimately decided that it was going to be much more difficult, if not impossible to realize these dreams, things that we felt God was calling us to, when so many of our seeds were going directly to Chase mortgage at the end of every month. While we could afford the New Old house financially, we perhaps couldn’t afford it in other ways. Our dream home was getting in the way of real dreams-bigger dreams...

I want to stress though that this wasn’t just a decision of selling one house to buy a different house. It was the first whisper of a calling toward a new adventure that He has authored for us... (http://www.rareandbeautifultreasures.com/2010/07/harvest.html)

So this is what it'll look like for us:
We'll be finishing up the projects around the house. At this point it's painting the basement bathroom, touching up trim, etc.
We have landscaping that needs attention. All the rain and the indoor projects have meant the flower beds have gotten no attention whatsoever.
We're hoping to have the house on the market the week before Memorial Day weekend, by that Thursday or so at the latest.
If/When the house sells, we'll be taking our time and deciding what direction we want to take from there. We'll most likely start looking in the same school district/area then branch out from there.
Why is this worth it? What are our dreams for our family? First, please know that we are fine financially. We're good. We don't have to do this and if the house does not sell, we will still have it paid off early and things will go along like we originally thought they would. So why bother? (Again with the bullets because it's easier to organize my thoughts):
We want to send less in for our monthly mortgage and give more away to people/groups that really need it. Our money is God's money first and foremost.
We have at least two rooms in this house that just do not get used for anything besides storage. Storage of stuff we really don't use or need more than once a year.
Our family needs retreat. Whether that looks like regular family vacations or at some point being able to buy a small condo or cottage away from here, we're open to whatever. Right now we do trips to visit family out of town but real vacations from real life only happen every other year for us (though now it's been almost two years now since the last one due to logistics and money.) We need time and redistributing our resources to retreat, as a family.
Please know we're not complaining or unhappy with our life. It just seems selfish for us to say we'd like to make these changes so "please, God, give us more money so we can do everything we want." He's blessed us with a decent income. We just need to use it differently for us to do the things that are important to us.

So that's it. We would really appreciate your prayers! If anyone wants to come help paint, pull weeds, talk to me while I cut trim without losing my mind you are welcome to it :) I'm nervous about all of this and I do love my house. But it's just a house. And who knows what lies ahead? (How EXCITING is that?!)

Update to now: Well. We did it. We put the house on the market the week after Memorial Day and we are now under contract and close August 5. We don't know where we're living yet and have no idea what God has planned for us. But we're in it for the long haul, so here goes...

Still here.

2011-07-11T11:03:00.000-04:00

Been going back and forth about whether to close up shop (as if it's actually "open" now?) or try to keep this going. I have ideas and urges to write but something always comes up. I'm thinking I need to make it a priority to act on those ideas because really, that is my life. Those thoughts and ideas. Not the mundane tasks of cleaning, doing laundry, grocery shopping...

I'll do my best. It may be in short, inconsistent blurbs but it'll be here :)

Is there an echo in here?

2010-11-02T11:01:00.000-04:00

I know, right? Another post within a day of the last. Crazy.

So I was reading through some of my old stuff and this post from April of this year kept coming back at me as I thought about it:

http://faithandart.blogspot.com/2010/04/to-start-over-or-continue.html

It's so true. And yet when I wrote it I felt like I was somehow on "the other side" of all of my struggles. Like I was looking back at something but from then on things would be... I don't even know... easier? Better? The reality is from then on things were as they always have been: chaotic, unexpected, glorious, trying, crushing, redeemed... pretty much life as we've always known it.

I know people jokingly say you should never pray for patience because God will take you up on that and put you through things to help develope patience. I feel like that post I linked to was a similar prayer for me. God stopped making those tiny lines in the sand and instead drew a trench. God took everything I was feeling, everything I wanted with regard to my relationship with Him and wanting to be who and what He created me to be and blew it up. No holds barred, did what He needed to do to blow my life apart and force me to stand by my previous statements that I would trust Him and nothing else matters.

I cannot believe I'm saying it, but without going into details I am glad I lived through the summer that I did. It hurt. But in a good way (like Eustace having his dragon hide ripped off after living confined for so long.) I am terrified that the Living God, the God of the universe, the creator of the stars and architect of all life has His eye on me. And wants me to be His. And will go to any lengths to make it so, even if it hurts Him to have to watch me go through it. That is good parenting and unconditional love and I am so honored and thankful and blessed. When I say I am terrified? It is a good thing. A reverential thing. Awe. Reverence. Full out adoration on my part. I love my God with every atom of my being.

Just had to throw that out there.

[Mostly] Finished workroom

2010-11-01T17:31:00.008-04:00

After all this time, I'm finally posting. And finally got around to taking some photos. I keep meaning to post them but stuff kept coming up (like tearing apart the master bath... and the furnace deciding to stop working...) Then I stumbled upon this post at Between Naps on the Porch, which is one of the blogs I read when I get a chance. These link "parties" are always cool to take a bit to browse because you get some really great ideas from other people you would never otherwise meet in real life!

Now, thanks to Laurie, I read quite a few home decor and DIY blogs. But have never posted photos or linked to them. I love to look but it never occurs to me to share my stuff with anyone else. And when I saw HomeGoods I got a little sniffy because I loved HomeGoods when we lived in Maryland (their Waugh Chapel store misses me, I'm sure.) But as far as I knew, we didn't have a HomeGoods in Cincinnati. Every time I'd happen to catch David Bromstead on HGTV he seemed to be taunting me with his HomeGoods shopping trips. So I almost passed over the ad. But? I was wrong, I decided to check their site and there is a HomeGoods in Cincinnati, and not too far from us! I see a trip to Harper's Point sometime in the not-too-distant future. Fun! **If you're not familiar, HomeGoods is to housewares and home decor what TJMaxx is to clothing and shoes. Both stores are great for finding bargains... and both stores have ruined me for paying regular price anywhere anymore**

So, on that note... this is my workroom! I would never have thought to call it a "Mom Cave" but I am a mom and I do tend to hide out in here when things get too loud or I'm stressing out. So I don't care what I call it as long as I get to play when I need to. This room had been a study next to the garage, away from the rest of the house so I can hammer stuff, play music and make noise late at night without bothering anyone.

Not sure why this one has such funky lighting... My sister found that metal Guinness sign in her basement when she moved into her new house. Perfect magnet board :) My tools and supplies are hanging from bronze cafe rods using S hooks and curtain clips.

So the paper/stained glass storage? Is Ikea cabinetry; it's plate storage turned on its side and covered with beadboard and trim (works perfectly for 12x12 papers and stained glass panels.) Base bookcases and butcher block also from Ikea

Yes. That is a tree branch. Covered in pages from my fallen apart copy of "A Swiftly Tilting Planet" by Madeleine L'Engle (are you really surprised by that if you know me? And I've since bought a new copy.) The desktop is a door from Building Value salvage in Walnut Hills. The white cabinets on either side are part of a set that included a dresser now in Sean's room and a headboard, bought off of Craigslist four years ago for $50 total.

Work space, countertop, shelves... we stuck to a budget and used salvage, clearance and the "As Is" room at Ikea. The plate storage cabinets were $25 each because they'd been discontinued. The bulletin board was $2 at Hap's in Blue Ash when they closed (moment of silence for Hap's....) So it's all luck, thrifty shopping, salvaging... The entire room cost around $400 including paint and hardware. The butcher block was the biggest purchase for around $200 total.

The rest of the post is just some of the little silly stuff that makes me smile :)

Yes, it does.

Plastic bin storage covered in atlas pages

I love clip-on glass birds


Mod Podged frame around Owen Brock Haiti photo

Cigar box storage

The camel is an old inkwell. It's too bad we no longer need inkwells.

Thrift store lighting project (I'll try to find the "Before" photos and post them)

Metal tray/magnet board

I think this was supposed to be a toilet paper roll holder...

NYC House number and transit guide map

Cigar box and mini-book made at the most awesome women's retreat ever (Cedar Ridge - when I first met BETSY!)

Rubber stampy goodness

Random metal tags and label holders and watch parts look prettier in glasses... or so I tell myself

So I really still need more seating for more friends to come play. I love these and they'd look great and be comfy while sitting and working (chatting) for long periods of time. And they pick up some of the red in the room and the yellow tones of the walls:

And something like this could definitely work too. Can't tell if it's got brown tones... or eggplant purples? Either way, I like it:

And I could use a lamp for the cabinet to the right of my desktop (computer area.) Something cute like this would be fabulous:

I love that shade of green!

Well, that's pretty much it. I'll update if I score something awesome at HomeGoods or TJMaxx. And you're all invited to come make a mess any time (yes, I'm serious.)

**Note: Since I just realized people I don't know are reading this (Hi, there!) I will explain that my first and last initial are both "S" which is why I tend to have so many of them sprinkled around our house :)

If I'd have known you were reading...

2010-05-21T09:58:00.005-04:00

I'd actually post more often. Huh.

So as I sit here typing, drinking my coffee, the smell of burning wood fills the air. Am I enjoying a fire in the fireplace? No. Am I sitting in the backyard amidst the glory of nature as a fire glows in the firepit? Um, no. Am I camped out on my bed while the floor guy cuts into my hardwood floors downstairs using some sort of process that makes my house smell like a bonfire? Yes! "Hardwood floor fire" for the win! I'm really craving smores right now.

He's actually cutting out the vents and installing new recessed vents before the refinishing starts on Monday. Yay! Refinishing! Monday! Exclamation points! Woo!

"Eek!"

So, life in the Sapper household. Yeah. Involves a lot of paint, tripping over shop vacs, cabinet doors and cans of paint and eating meals in the family room, living room and/or basement. It's a finished basement with Rusty's stupid big TV*. Not like I make the boys sit on the cold concrete floor in the dark ("Please, sir, I want some more")

"Oll-lee-vah, Oll-lee-vah, won't ask for more when he knows what's in store!"

What's new? Well, the kitchen island is finished except for needing the butcher block installed; we'll need to cut it to size then put a few coats of Tung oil on it before it's ready to go. But here are a few photos of how it turned out:

But dont' be fooled. Things aren't all lovely and "finished"...

Still a mess. As is my brain right now. But wait! There's more!

We got started trimming out the cabinets around the perimeter of the kitchen. We put beadboard and trim on all of the ends just like the island. We added moulding to the bottom edge of the cabinets to hide the under-cabinet lighting a bit better and we added a wee bit of trim to the existing crown moulding:

We've actually got the cabinet frames painted and polyurethaned so they're finished (YAY!) and there are fifteen cabinet doors and eight drawer fronts ready to be poly'ed then they'll be ready to hang. Hopefully that'll happen after floor guy is finished so I can put the polyurethane on after his sawdust is cleaned up. We bought magnetic latches for all of the cabinet doors so they actually close and stay closed and have felt pads to go on all the corners of the doors and drawers so there is no slamming noise (and so they don't stick.) That stuff will come last, along with the new hardware, and hopefully our kitchen will be put back together by tomorrow.

Monday morning the flooring guys are starting on their work and we will be moving out of the house for three or four days. We'll be staying at a suites hotel in West Chester so it won't be terribly far to drive the boys back up here for school while we're out of the house.

Our home-owners insurance is paying for the hotel and mileage for driving to school and back (our kids normally ride the bus) so I really can't complain. I mean, it'll be a very long weekend - we have to take four or five doors off their hinges so the guys can sand and refinish everything, we'll be moving our fridge, dishwasher and stove into our family room and pushing our furniture farther back from where the carpet and hardwood meet, moving the washer and dryer into my work room and getting every single thing off the floor which is most of the first level of our house. But? Cleaning can only be a good thing at this point. And? It's one step closer to be being FINISHED with this! (Yes. It does deserve all caps and festive colors. If I could animate that word I would because it is so very glorious at this point.)

For all of my stupidity and ridiculous comments I have to state for the record that number one, I am exhausted. We decided a better word is "weary." This has been an ongoing thing since the leak was first discovered over Spring Break. But number two, and most importantly, I'm blessed. No matter how cluttered, sawdust covered and chaotic my house is I know I am blessed to have a home. Blessed to have insurance that is taking care of some of this. Blessed to have a husband that says, "Sure, let's do all that painting we talked about" and lets me go off on my DIY tangents. Blessed that Rusty's extra income from soccer paid for new kitchen hardware and trim so we didn't have to dip into our regular budget. I am blessed. So for all my complaining, I'm sorry. Just wanted to get that out there. Thanks for listening.

*"Stupid big TV" is it's official name.

The day week my house lost it's mind: Summary

2010-04-28T11:21:00.002-04:00

*Go back and read or you won't know why I'm whining so much!

So why bother writing all of this on an art and faith blog? What does it have to do with anything? This is why: The last few weeks have been hard for me. Not because my arms and back and legs are sore. But because I am a very visual person. To a fault. When my house is a mess, my brain is a mess. It's like chatter in the background when you're trying to have a conversation with someone. I'm not a "neat freak," as much as it is just this visual thing that I cannot turn off. I wouldn't want to, honestly, because it's also what inspires me to do things in the first place. But last week that visual thing had me in a really bad place. But I'm pretty sure I felt God tell me chill and focus on the the big picture (yes, I'm sure God says, "Chill.")

God has taken care of us. We were going to try to do our floors (eventually) so this whole process was already in the "Hm, we should do this" mode mentally. But the leak was the catalyst. And for all the hard work it's taken we're already thrilled with the results and can't say it's been bad overall. Even though I know God gives me the inspiration it's nice to know He also gives me the push to do it sooner rather than later (pushing by any means necessary.) And, it's comforting to know that He often doesn't push us just to be mean or to make us learn something... sometimes He just pushes us because He knows we'll really enjoy the outcome and just need a little help getting started.

I can't complain, really. Yes, the trips to Lowes and the rolling and taping and all that is tiring and a bit expensive. But the floors are getting done and it turns out we won't be doing it ourselves. We have to be patient and wait for the subfloor to dry. As of right now no work will start until the week after next at the earliest. Not the way I'd have planned it, obviously, but it's so worth it. I can't wait to see what it all looks like in the end.

The day week my house lost it's mind: Part 4

2010-04-28T11:05:00.006-04:00

*Seriously, by this point you should know to scroll down to start reading at Part 1, right?

The other project we'd been planning to do this summer was to paint the kitchen cabinets (you know, the ones with the knobs and drawer pulls that were randomly falling off or hanging at odd and totally unusable angles? Yeah, those kitchen cabinets.) Again, we knew it would be smarter to suck it up and do it now before the nice new floor was in. And after the flooring guy came last week and determined the subfloor was still to wet to start repairs we knew we had no excuse to wait. Let the games begin...

First, the island. Pretty much a standard cabinet box. No trim, nothing fancy. We will replace the laminate countertop with butcher block so we can use it for food prep and have it be a more useful space. I got to work on Monday. Added bead-board to each end and trimmed it up a bit:

The baseboard, bead-board and trim are all new.

Just need to fill a few small gaps and ready to paint!

So, Tuesday. Proceeded to paint:

First coat is on. Bought a new black outlet and cover that I'll switch out once the painting is finished.

So that's where I am this morning. I just finished my coffee and am getting ready to finish lightly sanding the cabinet doors before painting a second coat on everything. Will probably take three coats total with a light sanding in between each. Then it'll be on to the cabinets around the perimeter of the kitchen (they will not be black; they will be just slightly off-white with a brown stain/glaze wiped into the corners and edges. We'll be leaving the countertops in place.)

The day week my house lost it's mind: Part 3

2010-04-28T10:41:00.011-04:00

*Scroll down to read Parts 1 & 2 to get the whole story

So we knew we were having the floors refinished and that we wanted a darker stain than what we currently had. But our family room and kitchen had fairly dark colored walls as seen behind Stormtrooper Brent, below:

Thank you, Stormtrooper Brent, for protecting our lovely and much loved chocolate brown walls. Step aside now.

So we started painting.

And then we painted some more.

And oh, yeah, then we painted.

Three days later and we were finished, things were brighter, and arms were useless and hung limply yet painfully at our sides.

But wait! That's not all!

Because the subfloor had been so wet we had to put power fans in the kitchen blowing down at the floor and in the basement blowing up at the subfloor. So it's been messy, painty chaos and loud. Sweet!

But wait! There's more...

The day week my house lost it's mind: Part 2

2010-04-28T10:25:00.006-04:00

*Scroll down to read Part 1 first. It'll make more sense!

Ah, the new faucet. So shiny and pretty and full of false hope. We thought the kitchen would be a little less annoying and a little prettier. The old faucet had a drip that I was constantly catching with a pitcher and using to water my plants and make coffee in the morning. But while installing this faucet two things happened:

We found out the hot water shut-off valve was not functional. You shut the water off at the valve under the sink, turn on the faucet and it still flowed. Nice. We decided to repair both the hot and cold to save the trouble later. We unsoldered each old valve and replaced it with a nice new shiny compression valve.

We had to pull the dishwasher out to get to the kitchen faucet. We've installed dishwashers before (see Bowie house work, last post) so that wasn't a big deal. But that's where the stupidity began. The house found it's chance...

To pull out the dishwasher I had to disconnect the electric; the wiring was too short to pull it out all the way and still keep it connected. I went down to the basement to flip the circuit breaker for the dishwasher. And as I stood there... I felt a drip. Of water. From the ceiling. I looked up and there is a wet spot on the ceiling/kitchen subfloor above me. And there is water running down the wall. The hell...?! Thankfully this was the storage area of the basement and not a finished wall or ceiling. I started pulling back the bins and boxes and found puddles on the floor and on top of the some of the bin lids. I proceeded to lose my mind, let loose a few spicy sentence enhancers and called Rusty. Thus began the insanity of our last few weeks.

The short version (too late!) is that there was a dishwasher leak and a plumbing leak that had been going on for a while. All of the water was seeping into the floor and subfloor so it never leaked out to where we could see. The hardwood flooring in the kitchen around the sink and bay window were warping and ruined.

The edges of the boards are lighter than the middles, it's because the boards are "cupped" meaning they warped and their edges turned up. Also caused the gaps between the boards. Kind of hard to see in the photo but you can feel it when you walk on it; very uncomfortable!

If I hadn't had to pull out the dishwasher it could have been a lot worse. One plumber in an ambulance (what?), one homeowner's insurance adjuster and one appliance repairman later and we had a plan: I fixed the backwards and upside-down kitchen sink plumbing (yes, I fixed it, not the plumber in an ambulance. And it was literally, backwards and upside down), the repairman ordered the part, and the insurance adjuster opened the claim which would pay for repair and total refinish of all the wood floors on the first level of our house as the hardwood is continuous from the front entry to the hall through the kitchen and into the laundry/mud room and powder room.

Our house wanted to play dirty? We were laying the smack down. Knowing the floors were going to be redone ramped up every project we wanted to do in those areas; we'd rather paint before the floors were all nice and new so we wouldn't have to worry about ruining them after all this trouble. So we started painting.

The day week my house lost it's mind: Part 1

2010-04-28T09:50:00.004-04:00

Happy late April, everyone! It is post-spring break and everyone is ~~spring cleaning~~, ~~planting and mulching~~, wondering if duct tape is considered a suitable cabinet finish for home retail value appraisal.

Those of you who know me know that I love messing with my house. The Fairfield house was relatively easy to deal with - one bathroom with brown pineapple wallpaper was nothing. Small potatoes. The Bowie house, ok, I admit it was a bigger challenge: took down that one wall, tore out entire kitchen. Rerouted electrical. And plumbing. And floors (oh, my!) But we knew what we were getting into.

But this house? It sneak attacked us. Let me first say this house is the one God chose for us. Sounds funny, but let's think back a few years, shall we? We came back to Cincinnati and started looking. We put an offer on one house, prayed about it saying if it wasn't the right house then let us know. The house was pulled off the market the next day. We put an offer on house #2, again with the same prayer attached, "Let us know, Lord, if this isn't where we should be." That house? Failed inspection. Spectacularly (really? Who beautifully finishes their basement but routes all basement sinks and shower/tub to drain into the sump pump?! We won't even discuss the missing furnace panel replaced with a piece of cardboard. Flammable anyone?)

So this house. We'd ignored it because it was above our price range. But by the time the second house had fallen through the price was lowered significantly and we actually got a deal (ha ha ha ha ha.... the irony will hit you as you read further.) Anyway, put in the offer, prayed again and this house passed everything. Got a good deal on the price, closing date worked perfectly - at this point school was starting within weeks and Liam was yet to be enrolled because we didn't know where we were going to live. We moved in the week before school started.

The normal stuff happened: we painted, we took down wallpaper border, thought it was pretty much move-in ready. Which was what we wanted; cosmetic changes but otherwise good to go. Then we noticed the kitchen.

A few months in and things starting falling apart. Literally. Almost every faucet in the house had a leak of some sort. In the kitchen, drawer handles fell off. The tile back splash wasn't caulked where it met the counterop, it had fake "caulk on a roll" that you can buy to quick fix your tub. The counter top above the dishwasher wasn't attached to the wall in one spot and moved forward an inch or so every time you opened the dishwasher (you had to push it back into place each time.) Irritating but fixable.

Then this spring. Spring break. One good day in and the kitchen just decided it was done, wasn't going to take it anymore and was going to force someone to fix it and do it right. We'd just installed new faucets in both upstairs bathrooms and were working on the kitchen. We added this lovely new faucet:

Note in the background you can see the gap between the bottom of the ugly tile and the top of the countertop.

That's where it all started to get stupid...

To start over or continue?

2010-04-08T10:31:00.003-04:00

Wow. So much had happened and changed in the last year. It's hard to know whether to take the time and write it all down or to just enjoy it and go on from here. I have stopped writing on the Art Chick blog because I feel like I have nothing left to say from that part of me anymore. I'm leaving it up for a bit because there are some posts there that were my way of working through our family struggles and life in general. Our life in Maryland seems like a million miles away now; Liam had yet to be diagnosed, I was still the mother of young children and very confused about who I was and how I was supposed to live my life. It's been a bit more than three years since our move to Ohio and though I miss our friends and miss the East Coast in general, I cannot honestly say I miss that time of my life personally.

Our first year or so here was interesting. At the time I didn't realize it but looking back I can see definite lines God drew in the sand saying, "I dare you to cross. I dare you to be who I made you to be." Those lines weren't big trenches. They were just regular little dragging-the-sand-with-a-stick kind of lines. They weren't major life-changing decisions at the time. But looking behind me each step over has added up to quite a move from who I used to think I was.

I still struggle with telling people I'm an artist. Maybe because I'm not famous, I rarely make money with my art or because the word "art" means so many things to so many people and I may not meet the expectation that any random person will have when they hear the words "art" or "artist." HA! Seriously? "May not" meet the expectation?! Good one. I'm actually able to finally say I won't meet the majority of expectations and that really that's fine with me as long as I'm trying my damnedest to meet God's.

The major turning point for me was when Sam died (my brother-in-law.) I don't know if it was that he was the first person I've known who was taken unexpectedly or because he was someone we'd known for so long? I think it's a part of each of those. But more and more I'm realizing it has a lot to do with the fact that Sam was very honest and settled in his faith and who he was in God and what he felt God created him to be. So when he was suddenly gone, it was personal. Not just because my sister lost her husband and my nieces lost their dad. But because it was personal to God. No one doubts where Sam is now. You can't. The phrase, "Well done, My good and faithful servant" became instantly and scarily real. All those things about the Kingdom and eternity were not just far-off spiritual ideas. They were happening. To someone I knew. Sam is in God's presence.

Since then, everything looks different to me. I'm finding I'm better at not worrying about what other people think about my work or my faith or my life in general. As long as I'm trying my best to live up to what God created me to be as a wife, mother, artist and person in general then the rest is just packing peanuts filling in the gaps. I know I fail a lot of the times and I hope I can see my failures for what they are, apologize to anyone I hurt along the way and learn from my mistakes and move on.

So that's about all I'm going to write regarding the last few years. I had been writing notes on Facebook which kind of fill in the gaps (Facebook is where everyone seemed to connect over the last few years.) Feel free to read your way through my brain if you want. There are updates on our life, Liam, and other randomness.

I'm sure over time certain things will pop up and some details will be filled in. We are now part of Ordinary Community which is a network of house churches. We have been blessed with many friends, old and new, who genuinely care for us as a family, for Liam with his OCD issues, and for me as an artist. I didn't know what we needed until God provided. I don't understand why God has chosen to bless me like he has. And I realize it can be taken at any time. But I am reveling it in. Rolling around in it! And thoroughly enjoying not having so many imaginary rules to worry about as I live and create in this new part of my life!

P.S. This isn't just talk, people! :) I'm running a mail art project for kids this summer and there's still time to let me know if your short people want to play. So far we have about 30 or so kids with a wide range of ages so depending on the final number I may be splitting the age groups a bit. I'd say honestly this fall's first grade on up is the age we're working with on this one. And, all parents and other adults are welcome to play too! We'll start in mid-June when most kids are out of school by then. I'll be sending out an email at the end of April/beginning of May with more details. It's low commitment and lots of fun - your mail carrier will be confused, irritated or highly amused.

I give up.

2009-11-07T12:00:00.004-05:00

I'm telling you, if you're a believer and you're struggling with something with deep roots, trying like crazy to dig to the bottom of it, worship will do it every time. My dad was saying yesterday that it's like a prayer language that totally intimidates the enemy and he has to flee when it begins. And I think it's also like fire and the enemy, like sin, is completely flammable. When we walk into the presence of the Lord-- whether we dance, crawl or limp in, singing-- the consuming fire that is His holy presence begins to burn away the dross in us. And the enemy, who would press my face into my navel, not looking for the Lord, cannot stand that holy presence. I think that's a big part of the whole mystery. It shows up in the psalms all the time-- start off with "OH, woe is me..." and end with "You alone are perfect in all Your ways! Praise You!"

Anyway, I'm standing there with suds and water all over my hands and somehow all over my arms and in my hair, weeping, singing "You alone are holy, You alone are worthy, You alone are God and worthy of my praise," adding "dammit" every few lines. It went against everything within me, honestly, for a few minutes. Look, the bottom line is that this is literally the most mysterious road I have ever walked down with the Lord. But I cannot leave Him. Everything in me knows that He is good. And I'm not brainwashed or fearful or stupid: I know it.
~ http://thisonetime-samantha.blogspot.com/

I'm struggling with some things right now. And I realized I'm not going to God in the midst of it. I'm aware of Him, I love Him...I adore Him. But I'm not clutching Him like I should be in the midst of this mental and emotional thing I'm having. And by "should be" I don't mean in some "doing the right 'Christian' thing" way. There are times when I'm a mess and being in Rusty's arms and hugging him in silence makes me feel better. It doesn't change the situation but it makes me feel better. I used to do that with God; being with Him and being in His arms made things feel better even when they weren't. I don't know when that stopped and it doesn't feel good. It feels worse to admit that I noticed it a week or so ago and haven't done anything to change it. I don't know why. I truly and fully adore my God. I believe He loves me.

This morning I was reading and thinking and realized there are times - a lot of times - when I feel God prompting me to do something and I blow it off as my own idea or my own desire, deem it therefore not as important because I came up with it, and move on (mostly without doing it.) What a wasted opportunity! Who have I become and how did it happen so suddenly when I thought everything was ok? Is this just a speed-bump and I'm being emotional about it? Totally possible. But being emotional about it still doesn't mean it's not there.

I'm going to take that random blogger's advice, above, and purposefully worship God. I don't know a lot of worship songs, actually, so I'm going to have to be deliberate about all of this. Put some effort in. And I'm also going to go through my art supplies and get my stuff out of my dining room and back into my workroom and start creating again. Every time I stop creating I fall apart... maybe I just answered my "what's going on?" question right there.

I am rambling, I'm well aware of that.

Tutorial: Using unmounted stamps

2009-09-15T10:52:00.002-04:00

Back in 2003 I purchased my first set of unmounted rubber stamps. I was immediately a fan as they are usually quite a bit less expensive than the wood mounted stamps and they take up a lot less storage space. As I started using them more often I had friends asking me about them. I created this photo tutorial. It was originally on my old website but I moved it to Flickr then kind of forgot about it when we moved to Ohio and we bought my new laptop.

After stumbling upon it this morning I figured it's always good to post practical advice on a Faith & Art related site. So here it is! And please let me know if there is anything you'd like to see specifically - tutorials on materials, techniques, etc. If I don't know how to do it, I'm sure someone else does and we'll get them to help!

So here it is, the "Using unmounted rubber stamps" tutorial photo set on Flickr!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/art_chick/sets/463224/

Art workroom update photos.

2009-08-30T23:17:00.002-04:00

So here are some photos of the mess at our house right now. The first three are my workroom as it is today. I filled holes left by wall anchors and tried out little swatches of the new paint (similar color but lighter - it's either khaki or yellow depending on the light. I like it.)

So the next photo shows an old door I bought at Building Value down in Walnut Hills (architectural salvage store. LOVE. IT.) I am planning to use it as a desktop on that wall for my laptop. Notice the doorknob hole? Will use it as access for the cords. I KNOW! Genius!

And I painted my wooden office chair. By the time we're finished it'll have a slip-covered cushion. Too cute.

And this? This is my dining room. Nice. That's all the stuff we cleared out of my work room this week*.

Mmm, paper rack. How I adore my printed papers. And my Sharpies (in the lazy susan in the foreground to the right.)

OK. So... there it is, in all it's unkempt glory. I'll post more as we go. I know you're waiting on the edges of your collective seats, eh? Yeah.

P.S. Yes, that is a bookcase with my name embedded in it. My great Uncle Myron made that for me when I was little. Jason (my brother) has one as well, um, but with his own name on it. Not mine. It is honestly one of my most prized possessions as I never had personalized items because my name ends with an "-ie" rather an a "-y" or "-ey."

Catching up.

2009-08-29T09:12:00.002-04:00

I'm hoping to renovate this blog later this fall - new look, new posts on a more regular basis. God is working on me and I need to talk about it (regardless of whether anyone is reading this.)

In the meantime, if you've just tuned in, I'd suggest going back and reading some of the posts that got me to this particular point in my life. Instead of you having to sort through the archives, I'll make a list below of the posts that made the most sense (I might include the Mail Art cow. Because I can.)

Let's start from the very beginning. It's a very good place to start...

Art

In Which I Tell it Like it is. For Me at Least.

Cosmos from Chaos

Art as Remembering

Clarification

Faith

Icons of the True

What You Need

See What's Out There

Today's Post (I'm including this one because it's the reality of my life. It's not always paint and glitter and "Oh, I'm so inspired and creative!")

My Faith. And art.

Favorites

Preface to Reflections on Perelandra

And yeah... that's where it stopped. Or where the blog stopped. So far. We're in the process of re-organizing my art room and hopefully I will be able to create on a regular basis which will give birth to thinking about the creative process and getting back into a conversation with other creative junkies about it all. I still struggle with my responsibility complex kicking in and whether I should take time away from "real" pursuits and responsibilities to do whatever I'm inspired to do creatively.

It's just that now, a week before I turn 37, I'm at a point where I'm finally embracing the entirety of my identity as an artist and as a Believer. Regardless of what more practical people may say. Or what more responsible people may say. Or "better" mothers, better wives, better housekeepers, cooks and lawn-mowers might say.

You're more than welcome to browse the archives on your own. Just be warned there are a lot of life updates during our move from Maryland to Ohio back in 2006/2007 and other little things that are boring to click through. So have at it. Read it and think about it and let's talk about what you think (I'll see some of you in person so it doesn't have to be online.)

Hope to be back soon! I'll try to post photo updates of the room make-over, too.

Soldered stuff.

2009-08-11T18:47:00.004-04:00

I burned out my third tip trying to do this with a way under-powered soldering iron (a 35 watt dinky thing with no reostat. Boo.) Hopefully I will be getting this* for my birthday next month and all my soldering dreams will come true!

I messed around with a few stained glass scraps along with a 1960's/70's brooch I bought at St. Vincent DePaul last week and a rock that's been sittig in the dining room for months. Anything that sits in my line of sight for months is in danger of being soldered to something or glued to something or painted with something.

This is about an inch square scrap of stained glass with irregular random yellow, white, and red stripes. The "live" charm and is attached with a jump ring which also has a little turquoise bead at the connection.

The next two are of the same piece, a larger bit of the same scrap I used for the "live" square. This one has two vintage beads attached by jump rings at the top. You can definitely see the stripes better in this one!

This started out as a sad little retro brooch. I pulled the pin off of the back, turned it sideways, soldered on a jump ring at the top and a dangling bead at the bottom (the bead is a vintage glass and it's more blue/gray than it looks in the photo.)

This is the rock that should have known better than to hang around with nothing to do. I wrapped it and soldered it then added the bead (another one from my jar of old glass beads; yay for old stuff!) Unfortunately the camera picked up way too much reflection off the solder. It is shiny. But not that shiny.

These didn't turn out a well as I'd like but I'm really picky about what I'm picturing verses what circumstances let me actually create - the soldering wasn't smooth because the soldering iron I have at the moment doesn't stay consistently hot. It's like cooking on an electric stove where the burner heats to a certain temp then cools then heats again then cools... so I got out my Dremel and tried to make it look like the lack o' smooth soldering was on purpose. I wish I knew more about photography because the texture on the rock's solder is actually really cool and I was able to make it mimic the texture of the rock itself. Not too bad for messing around though now I'm really coveting that new iron...

*I'm not buying the Weller from the ToolBarn.com, but I like anything called The Tool Barn! :)

**Also, I didn't forget the Perelandra post. Just finished reading the third book and have been thinking about it as well. So far haven't been able to separate the two for posting...

Preface for "Reflections on PERELANDRA"

2009-08-05T12:48:00.003-04:00

I'm not really sure how much of my personal life I want to talk about on this blog. I guess inasmuch as it applies to my thinking on my faith or my art. I know it won't be a static thing and will change as my life changes (and yes, I did look up the correct spelling of "inasmuch" before I typed it.)

So I've been doing some comfort reading the last few weeks. It takes the place of comfort food for me... ok, let's be real, sometimes comfort food accompanies the comfort reading... Anyway, "comfort reading." For me, that means going back to those books and authors that lead me back to where I plainly see God's glory and that this life isn't what it's all about. These are the books that open my eyes, wake me up again.

This latest bought of comfort reading was brought on by a seriously stressful mid-July that culminated with having to cancel our summer trip to Maryland, get Liam back into therapy and deal with the fact that our relatively new, but much loved dog has a tumor that we are not able to treat due a variety of reasons. Added to this is the fact some other situations with people I care about and the fact that a friend was dealing with her mom going into hospice only a few months after being diagnosed with very aggressive cancer. The situations got a bit worse and my friend's mom died Saturday. And it put "stress" into perspective. It didn't lessen our sadness in dealing with our own circumstances. But it did, definitely, put them into perspective.

Having things put into perspective for you is a good thing. It's a healthy thing. It helps you see that yours isn't the only life with sad or hard or stressful circumstances. And for the most part we can't really change or fix these kinds of circumstances. Realizing that helps you let go of it a little. It brings you out of yourself and helps you understand, once again, that we live in a fallen world. None of it is personal, no matter how very personal it feels. Or maybe the exact opposite of that is true to the extreme - it's all personal because we are His and there are powers and principalities that do not like that. At all.

So having written all of that, let me say this: God is good. All the time. Either we believe it or we don't. You can't "kind of" believe it. Or believe it's true sometimes and not others. It's hard to admit God is good and your life can still suck. It seems like then maybe God doesn't care? Or you're not as important to Him as someone whose life is rambling along ok? Don't fall into that thinking. If nothing else go read some firsthand accounts of life in war-torn countries, places where lives are steeped in poverty with not much chance of change... it'll give you some perspective. Not to put you in your place and shut you up or make you stop whining. But to give you strength to keep wading through your own situation. To give you courage and some hope.

That's my purpose for comfort reading. Perspective, realignment... hope and courage to keep going.

And it lives...

2009-08-04T14:04:00.003-04:00

Life keeps getting in the way and yet the ideas and inspiration that originally got this blog started are just as strong as ever. We've had a lot going on and I'll post more about it in a bit. Wanted to update to let you know I'm still here and will be setting up a Twitter ID for Faith & Art in the next day or so. I think that way I can at least get little blurbs out while trying to make time to post longer blog posts more often. I'd also like to get some more challenges up. So here's to picking myself up and dusting myself off and moving on...

See you soon.

Comfort our spirits, Lord.

2009-04-27T14:38:00.003-04:00

Dear Father,

Please comfort us in our loss. Whether it be a loss of life or a loss of security, of sureness about the future - ours and others. Please hold our hearts in Your hands. Please comfort us with the glory of the universe, the beauty that exists around us in nature and in other people you've put in our paths.

Please help us to be able to reconcile our current situations with the fact that we know and believe You to be good. All the time. And let us rest our fears, our doubts and our anger and sadness in that one basic truth.

We honor you. We thank you, cry to you, yell at you, ask you why. And we love you.

Amen.

I am owed nothing.

2009-04-24T23:05:00.002-04:00

Rusty and I were talking about how lately we've heard a little more talk than usual about how people feel they deserve more or deserve better. The funny thing is that if we were really given what we deserve, it wouldn't be pretty. Thanfully (so thankful) we don't get what we deserve. We get grace. We get love and forgiveness.

In thinking more about this friend dealing with illness, I get a knot in my stomach. Because I know that God doesn't owe us anything. Our version of "good" or an answer to prayer would be sudden and total healing and a long life here on this earth. But God exists in a bigger reality where the whole picture is available whereas we're only seeing the view from where we are at any given time and place. That's scary! It's sobering to say one minute, "God is good. All the time." And to really, honestly believe it. Then the next minute a loved one dies or someone is diagnosed with a disease that will alter their lives... and yet we still believe God is good. How does that work? We have to remember that we need to rethink "good." Sometimes it's not pretty. It's not easy or what we think would be best or what we really want. I really think good is scary and powerful and strong and nothing like what churchy "good" would look like. "Good" is the ultimate, it's final. It's truth. It's open and real. And apparently, a lot of times, not easy to deal with!

Anyway, it's a scary thing to think that we have a situation, we pray and hope God answers in the way we see as "good." To know that He is ultimately the only one who understands and sees good for what it is. For us as believers I think it's an exercise in faith to pray with that understanding that God owes us nothing. He knows what's best and why. It could hurt.

I don't belong here.

2009-04-23T22:30:00.005-04:00

I'm going to be honest and say first that I have no idea what I'm going to say. There. That makes me feel better, eh?

During Easter weekend we had very dear friends staying with us. The oldest of the Helwig children had borrowed A Wrinkle in Time the month before. He came back very much excited and wanted to know if there were more books by that author (Madleine L'Engle.) Anyone who knows me will not be surprised to hear that I was happy... moved... to be able to tell him that no only were there more books by the same author but that she wrote three more in that series involving Meg and Charles Wallace. These books, along with C.S. Lewis' Space Trilogy and some of his others that make me excited and hopeful for our kids to see the kingdom in the everyday.

Here's the weirdness (and bear with me, I promise I have a point.) I started reading the Harry Potter books this past week. I'm a very fast reader. It's a blessing a curse, trust me. I'm on book four and already there is this world that's been created that magical and homey and makes you feel like you're there and a part of it. It's not the "magic" or the wizard or any of the surface stuff that a lot of church-going Christians disapproved of that drew me to the stories. It's the belonging. The sense of being where you're supposed to be. Harry Potter aside, there is a desire in all of us to belong, to feel at last that we've landed where we're supposed to be. That feeling of comfort. COMFORT. Of safety and relaxation and home.

The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis deals with themes of moving beyond our comfort levels to get "further up and further in" to that place which makes us solid and real. We know, as human beings, that we are meant for so much more than this. Switchfoot sings about The Beautiful Letdown - that wouldn't be so successful if it didn't ring true for so many. We don't belong here. We feel out of place. We know there is more than this. We latch on to things like Harry Potter or Narnia because they give us a sense of home or belonging. But down deep we know that there is more. More than we can sing about or write about. There is a distant place where we will finally be free to be ourselves completely. To exhale and really breathe for the first time and feel like we are finally who God, our Father and Creator, made us to be. Where we connect with Adam and Eve in the Garden. Where we finally understand what we lost but will finally find when we come home to be with the One Who Loves Us.

I know this sounds a little loony or over-the-top. But I've come to peace with the understanding that this is not what God intended for us.

We. Screwed. Up.

It's our fault. We mourn the death of loved ones. He welcomes us home. We live years... decades... of a half-life existence. He counts down the minutes until we're in His arms for good. We cry over what we've lost while I'm sure the "lost" rejoice when they're finally welcomed home.

I know this life is a shabby version of what awaits us. Every so often I have to cry about it and spend an evening being melancholy. But then there is something that makes me smile - a flash of heaven - an eleven year old gets excited about A Wrinkle in Time (wait... is he twelve?) And I know that there are still souls that understand that we're just biding our time in the best way we know how. We read about it and sing about it and try to recreate it in our art. It's the best we can do in the place we are for the time being.

NYC PS22.

2009-04-23T21:34:00.001-04:00

Someone else's prayers.

2009-04-23T17:29:00.003-04:00

Heavenly Father, giver of life and health:
Comfort and relieve your sick servant, and give your power of healing to those who minister to her needs, that she may be strengthened in her weakness and have confidence in Your loving care;
through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Amen.

Sometimes when I don't know what to pray I find comfort and inspiration in the prayers of those who've walked before me. This is a prayer for the sick from The Book of Common Prayer (Episcopal Church BCP, 1979.) And these words are every bit as relevant to this situation as any I might speak on my own.

My offer to pray for a friend is always made honestly. And I do pray. If I doubt I'll remember, I don't offer. Because prayer is too powerful a thing to say you'll do without following through on it. But sometimes the situation needing prayer is so big or so personal or so whatever that it feels like it needs something constant. Something that is ongoing rather than something that is in a moment that has passed.

I think prayer is an art. Anyone can do it. But some people are gifted at getting to the heart of communicating a certain situation or circumstance to God - honestly, what is the entire book of Psalms if not a prayer we go to again and again to reach out to God in the same voice that David did centuries ago?

I don't feel that gift myself sometimes which I think is why I'm so drawn to the beautiful words of others in communion with our heavenly Father. I think using corporate prayer or the prayers of others to communicate with God can be a powerful thing. It's a spiritual communion with other members of The Church.

Consider yourself hugged.

2009-04-22T22:34:00.002-04:00

"The settled happiness and security which we all desire, God withholds from us by the very nature of the world: but joy, pleasure and merriment, He has scattered broadcast. We are never safe, but we have plenty of fun, and some ecstacy. It is not hard to see why. The security we crave would teach us to rest our hearts in this world and oppose an obstacle to our return to God: a few moments of happy love, a landscape, a symphony, a merry meeting with our friends, a bath, or a football match, have no such tendency. Our Father refreshes us on the journey with some pleasant inns, but will not encourage us to mistake them for home."
~ C.S. Lewis in The Problem with Pain

When I first read this passage from The Problem of Pain I had one of those moments where I completely understood what Lewis meant by "pleasant inns." Just last weekend Rusty and I were trying to explain to friends here about friends back in Maryland. We eventually came to the conclusion that our friends back in Maryland are our community - our place where we feel very much loved, accepted, renewed... if "The Church" is made up of people rather than a place, then these people are part of our Church. Our community where above all (even the John Boehm nunchuck story and Rusty and Erik's guy love), Christ is central. We never have to second guess anyone's intentions. There is a lot of laughter. And honestly, it's a small bit of what I expect heaven to be, only on a much grander scale. It is a a "pleasant inn" that God uses to refresh us on our journey, even when our journey has taken us on a different path than our friends back home.

I bring that up because after any kind of tragedy you always hear people reminding you to hug your loved ones and tell them you love them because you never know when they'll be taken from you. And last weekend's conversation made me realize I'm not sure we've ever put into words how we feel about our friends. Whether it's a fabulous reunion party at the Stuarts, crabs at the Springers or Janniche's, or even having a friend play guitar for your first attempt at an art show or seeing John and Ruthie (when they're apparently taking time out of their date night just to show their support), or putting together Easter baskets with Jerren and Em or wandering the aisles of Jungle Jim's while Rusty and Brent discuss the finer points of hoppiness... it's all community. It's God's way of refreshing us. And reminding us that this? This is nothing compared with what's to come.

Favorites.

2008-12-07T21:09:00.004-05:00

Those of you who know me know that my two favorite authors are C.S. Lewis and Madeleine L'Engle (yes, I'm a Narnia fan. But my favorite Lewis novel is actually Perelandra and every time I re-read it I end up in tears for the possibility of what we, as humanity, lost the moment we fell in the garden.)

I've read this quote by C.S. Lewis before. But when I rediscovered it today, it made a deeper impact especially considering yesterday's post:

The settled happiness and security which we all desire, God withholds from us by the very nature of the world: but joy, pleasure, and merriment He has scattered broadcast. We are never safe, but we have plenty of fun, and some ecstasy. It is not hard to see why. The security we crave would teach us to rest our hearts in this world and oppose an obstacle to our return to God: a few moments of happy love, a landscape, a symphony, a merry meeting with our friends, a bathe, or a football match, have no such tendency. Our Father refreshes us on the journey with some pleasant inns, but will not encourage us to mistake them for home. from The Problem of Pain

I'm thankful for those who came before us and left their encouragement for those of us still here in the Shadowlands.* I promise I'll try and wait patiently and to make the most of my waiting.

*I've spent a lot of time this evening on Dr. Bruce L. Edwards' C.S. Lewis and Inklings Resource Blog. It helped me feel a little less crazy. And that's a good thing at this point considering the circumstances lately.

My faith. And art.

2008-12-06T16:28:00.003-05:00

It's been three weeks since my sister's husband died. I've been doing a lot of praying since then. And a ton of writing in my notebook. There is a patch from yesterday that I think relates to the idea of faith and art and why we create in the first place.

Dated 12/5-08:

...I'm conflicted because one moment I seem to "get" that this life is temporary. I mean, I don't just acknowledge it but really fully feel it. This world and this life is only a very bad copy of what we're created to be and of the reality that God exists in.

I sense it so strongly sometimes that I almost feel like I could go out and kick the car in the driveway and it would crumble up like tissue paper. And if I blew into the air the clouds would part and the sky would ripple like a curtain - that's how strong a sense of falseness I have at times about this life. But then I stick out my foot and rest it on the coffee table. And realize how hard and solid it is. And the sense of hope I had from my (very) brief moment of understanding is gone.

I realize we're stuck in this place no matter how much we "get" it. We're here until God decides otherwise. So sometimes I wonder if it's better to never have those moments of clarity? Maybe it's better to not know or understand what you're missing?

As an artist I feel like sometimes I'm trying to communicate something I've actually never experienced. To create something with a beauty I've never actually seen but that I'm so sure of that it's painful and makes my chest hurt to think about it. I have no doubt that that beauty does exist, even though its full view is hidden from us.

I think it's true: "I caught a glimpse of Your splendor in the corner of my eye. The most beautiful thing I've ever seen. It was like a flash of lightning reflected off the sky and I know I'll never be the same. Show me Your glory. Send down Your presence. I want to see Your face..."*

I think what some people consider "the muse" is really just an unconscious act of "getting it." But they suffer less emotionally if they don't realize it's a real thing they're inspired by. It's easier to call it the muse; it doesn't make you so homesick (homesick for a place you've never been!)

Sam's death has made me homesick that way. Not like Lianne would feel, wanting to be with him again. Mine is due more to having to continue to admit I still believe God is good. Which means that Sam is in that place now - the place that is just out of my reach when I think I have it, or that surprises me when flashes of it show through just the right combination of color and transparency. Or a photograph. or a song that makes me almost cry - not because it's sad but because they lyrics or melody remind me of that place where I belong but have still never seen.

*Show Me Your Glory by Third Day

Alumni chapel

2008-11-21T00:51:00.004-05:00

From the CCS alumni chapel today (I didn't make this. I believe a student or recent alumnus did.)

Sam Dillard Memorial Fund

2008-11-18T13:31:00.001-05:00

If I missed getting this to you via email, here is more information. If you are CCHS alumni, please send me your email and I'll add you to the update list. You can email me at smksapper@gmail.com

As most of you are aware, on Saturday November 15th Coach Sam Dillard collapsed at his home in Fairfield, Ohio. Mr. Dillard passed away later that same night from multiple brain aneurysms. Coach Dillard leaves behind a wife (Lianne Kelly) and two young girls (Callie soon to be 3 and Zipporah 1).

Sam Dillard was a coach and teacher in his 31st year at Cincinnati Christian High School in Fairfield, OH. As a strong example to his students and players, Sam showed, through his everyday life and actions, the true love of Christ. Now it is our turn to take care of his loved ones.

Lianne and their girls need us now more then ever. Medical bills, mortgage payments, food and diapers now become harder to come by in this time of grief. Sam and his family's home church is Tri-County Assembly of God in Fairfield. The church and its pastors, Hugh and Brad Rosenberg, have set up a Sam Dillard Memorial Fund. This fund will go entirely to Lianne Dillard and the two girls, Callie & Zipporah, to cover their growing expenses.

Please join me in making a donation in any amount, big or small to help out the loved ones of Sam Dillard in this time of need.

Please make checks payable to "Tri-County Assembly" with a notation designating it for the "Sam Dillard Memorial Fund".

Send donations to:

Sam Dillard Memorial Fund

c/o Tri-County Assembly

7350 Dixie Hwy

Fairfield, OH 45014

News/Articles on Sam's Passing:

http://news.cincinnati.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/AB/20081117/NEWS01/311170026/

http://www.yappi.com/forums/showthread.php?t=179630

http://www.middletownjournal.com/news/content/oh/story/news/local/2008/11/18/hjn111808coachdeath.html?cxtype=rss&cxsvc=7&cxcat=16

Collage Canvas

2008-11-14T12:57:00.006-05:00

Remember that canvas? The one that was going to be the base for my "BE" collage? Yeah, well, now it looks like this...

At first I was only going to post about the canvas and let you leave posts saying, "Oh, how very pretty." And leave it at that. I was going to ignore the fact that there has been nothing posted here for a month now. I mean, honestly, up until I just typed the beginning of this paragraph, that's all it was going to be. But I was thinking about how to explain why I took the butterfly off the canvas and added the vintage paper and ink and gel medium mixes. And I realized my interaction and changing the canvas has had a lot to do with why I haven't posted and my emotional state of mind and how it's affected my creativity lately.

Let me start by saying I'm sorry. To be honest, I have no clue if anyone else was getting anything out of those challenges because I rarely get comments posted here. I did hear from some of you by email every once in a while but I never wanted this to be a case of me talking and no one talking back. I crave interaction on this subject. Creativity is communication: communicating by visuals, music, written words... it's not one way. So I was a little discouraged.

Then we had some health issues with my mom that landed her in the hospital a while back (she's fine, thank you for your prayers.) And the boys and I have been fighting colds/sinus infections. You know, the kind that doesn't make you "sick" but really makes you feel tired and half out of it for a while. It was all rolled together with my depression at summer ending and having close friends moving away and school issues with Liam. I shut down. I didn't create anything. And I was miserable.

So a few weeks ago I decided to make a deliberate effort to shut myself in the living room and spend time every day connecting with God. Not necessarily "praying" in a typical way. Though prayer does end up happening at that time, my prayer seems to end up being more of a communion with God. Less talking at Him, more being with Him if that makes sense? And that changed things.

I started looking at my canvas that I wanted to use as the base for the collage. The words from the BE passage speak to me in a grand, cosmic, Creation-with-a-capital-"C" way. The canvas was too blah. Now it's less blah. And it makes me smile when I see it (the colors are more real in person. The camera had a hard time focusing and picking up the color with the shine of the gel medium in the light at that angle.)

So what does this mean for this blog? Well, for one thing, it's not ending. It's not over just because I'm not posting challenges weekly. By the way, I liked the challenges. I just ran out of things that spoke to me and didn't want to post things just for the sake of posting something. There are plenty of "How to" blogs out there for crafty people such as yourselves. And there are a lot of "look what I can do" kind of blogs too. This isn't supposed to be either.

So I guess what I'm saying is that I want to make stuff. Things that are inspired by my communication and relationship with my Creator. Things that celebrate my connection with my Creator. I'll post them here. And I'll post what made me do the things I do. And hopefully you, as readers, will post not only what you think but also what you would have done differently based on your faith or relationship with Him. Not because you think I made a mistake but as a reflection of our individual identities as artists in relationship with the ultimate Creator. Where I did a canvas you may have written a poem or knitted a frog disection... what? You think I'm kidding? Look at what I found online*:

So I'm excited again. Next time I'm going to post my little tangent on how fascinated I am with gel medium in a philosophical way. Yes, I've been told I'm weird. I've dealt with it.

P.S. I will be putting the butterfly back on the canvas eventually. Along with some other stuff.

*I don't know this person but they have one of the most fun Etsy shops ever: The Crafty Hedgehog

Life.

2008-11-01T22:39:00.002-04:00

Stuff's been going on. If you'd like a recap, please go over to the Art Chick blog and read up.

Thank you, and have a nice day.

Today's post.

2008-10-21T11:26:00.006-04:00

I wish I could say I "forgot" to post last week. I didn't forget. I just didn't do it. I chose not to. We have had a hard few weeks with school issues, house issues and other things I'd rather not discuss but just ask for your prayers. I'm also finding myself horribly homesick for our friends back in Maryland. I'm sure it's nothing a hug from Deedie, a day out with Betsy, an afternoon making something pretty with Sandi or a cup of coffee with Ashley and Sherri wouldn't fix. It's nothing life-threatening. Just life side-tracking I guess.

I'm planning on posting some photos of the house stuff on the Art Chick blog later today. That'll give you an idea of what's up in that regard. And for those of you know know Liam's situation I just ask that you continue to keep the school staff and Liam in your prayers as we work through this fall. Nothing is "wrong." Things just aren't working as well as they did last year.

I'm going to be honest and say that this is the first time I wish I was being paid for this. I wish I had an office to go to where I wrote about faith and art and was able to create without any distraction from outside. I guess right now I just feel like I need to write and think about this stuff but life has gotten in the way. I sometimes feel like since it's not my "job" I don't have a right to do this stuff until the other stuff gets done first - laundry, upkeep on the house, cleaning, etc.

Rambling moment. Sorry. I'll put a note up here when I get some house-chaos photos up on the other blog. Have a good day, guys.

Week 5: See what's out there!

2008-09-23T11:59:00.006-04:00

So back before Sean was born, I went shopping with a friend of mine to find some paper to make baby announcements for her first baby. We ended up in this crammed-full little stamp shop in an old Victorian house. Neither of us knew anything about rubber stamps. The owner saw us staring blankly at a container of embossing powder and happily demanded that we come over and let her show us how it worked. She spent the next hour stamping and embossing and answering questions. We left the shop with stamps and paper and embossing powder to make baby announcements and Christmas cards. But she didn't just make a sale - she inspired us. We were really excited about what we'd learned and what we could do with it. And? We actually went home and used everything we'd purchased.

This is why I tell you that: It's time for a field trip. You need to get out. You need to see what's out there, check out the supplies and fun stuff waiting for you to use them, and see what other people are doing. And I'm not talking about just going to a store and "buying stuff." It's not about the buying. It's about inspiring yourself!

I know some of you have magazine subscriptions to scrapbooking, stamping, art, knitting, gardening and other magazines that specialize in your particular flavor of fun. That's great. It really is. But I think there is a bit of a disconnect between magazines and real life. When you see something in a magazine it's... well... it's in a magazine. So are car ads, furniture you'll never be able to afford and impossibly clean houses. You need to get outside of that.

Locally owned stores are a great idea because they are usually staffed by people who know their industry and love what they do. While I was in Baltimore with Betsy last January we stopped into the greatest yarn shop in Hampden. The owner could give you advice on just about anything yarn related and while we were there two separate times women stopped in with their in-progress projects to get advice and chat about what they're working on.

Yearly trade conventions are also an excellent place to see the new products being demonstrated in person! Every year in greater Cincinnati there is an event called Stampaway USA. Before my first trip, I was hesitant because I wasn't sure I did enough stamping to make it worth it. I personally enjoy rubber stamps for their graphic element - being able to produce the same image in different ways by changing your ink type and color. But only about half of my stamping is on paper - I like to stamp on metal objects, cloth, glass and other collage items. I just didn't think Stampaway was something I'd get into because I assumed it was going to be a mess of handmade greetings cards and not much more. BWA! Was I wrong. Thankfully, so very wrong.

Stampaway showcases rubber stamp companies but many of the products and projects displayed are three dimensional, metal-work, jewelry and other collage type work. Incredible companies like European Papers out of Columbus, OH and Stampers Anonymous (a Cleveland company, I think?) have great found items and images that are versatile enough to be used in just about any way you can imagine. I bought a set of vintage glass map pins from European papers, some metal spinners from Stampers Anonymous (you know, like on a board game where you spin for your turn.) There is also a woman who sells custom cut glass for soldering projects which is something I've been having a hard time locating. If I hadn't gotten past my "it's only greeting cards" mentality* I'd have missed a great opportunity to be inspired and also to make some contacts for new supplies!

An example of still being able to be inspired by going out and seeing what's new? Something I bought at Stampaway this year was glitter. To some of you, that probably sound stupid, right? But I bought glitter! I've never liked glitter before. I thought it was too "kindergarten art" for me, even though I've actually never looked at it in any of the art stores I've wandered into. When I got to Stampaway this year, I happened upon someone doing a demo with ultra-fine vintage green glitter. It had an antique look to it, like some of the postcards I inherited from Rusty's great-aunt. I loved it immediately, but still wasn't sure what to do with it. After ten minutes of watching some demos I was hooked and bought four or five little containers of vintage colors and can't wait to start messing with them! If I'd have gone into Michael's and bought this stuff I'd have brought them home forgotten about them in a few days. But after seeing someone using them, in person and in real time, I have ideas of specific things I want to try based on what I saw firsthand. It really does make a difference when you see items being used as opposed to seeing a finished project that merely listed the supplies in the footnote.

Now, another good source of inspiration is art fairs or craft shows. And you may not see the items being made first-hand. But you do get to see some decent artwork and the artist is usually there to answer questions. If you're a quilter, quilt shows are amazing because quilters love to talk about their work and share what they do. I've found the same to be true of home and garden shows and local festivals - the people who take the time to be there are there for a reason. They like what they do. Sure, they want to sell their items. But they truly love that someone is buying their handmade garden chair or wrought-iron plant stand because they know it will add something unique to your home. Take advantage of that. Ask questions. Tell them what you are looking for and see what they suggest. Or just look around.

Autumn is a great time of year for local festivals featuring artisan crafts, carpentry, welding work, etc. And over the winter there seem to be quite a few conventions for stampers, scrapbookers, quilters, etc. (I guess more people tend to stay inside?) So keep your eyes open for a field trip experience that will get you out among others who share your particular passion. Even if you don't buy anything, you'll get something out of it. And please, don't make a trip to Michael's or Hobby Lobby be your field trip. I want you to put a little more effort into finding people who love the same things you do! I mean, I love the smell of the fine arts department just as much as anyone else... but no one at Michael's is going to take an hour to sit and chat about the finer points of gel medium as an adhesive verses good ol' Diamond Glaze. I have to go look for that kind of enchanting conversation!

I can give some suggestions for some local places here in Ohio. And if you're not local but you have some good ideas of locally owned stores, or maybe trade shows or conventions coming your way? Please feel free to leave your ideas in the comments section and I'll add them to the post!

*I've gone to Stampaway every year now since 2003 (the year I wondered if it was worth it.)

If you're in Ohio, try these:

Stamp Your Art Out (Blue Ash/Greater Cincinnati area) - This is not a great site but I've included it for contact info and address. The store is awesome, crammed full of fun supplies and great samples.
Marco Paper (Dayton/Centerville) - This is one of my favorite places. There is almost always a demonstration going on in the back, they're great about showing you how to use something. And they have really great stuff!
Stampers Anonymous Convention Schedule - Personally, if Stampers Anonymous is going to be there, I say it's worth checking out. So far they're scheduled to be in MD, OH, TN, VA, WI and CA through the end of the year. Not sure they have a physical store-front. Will look into that...
European Papers (Columbus) - I haven't made it to this store in person but their booth at Stampaway is always one of my favorites. The owner is passionate about what they do and thought the ongoing mail-art war between Jodi and myself was great (she saw photos of the cow mail.) Can't wait to take a day-trip to Columbus to visit!

St. Bovina. Patron saint of mail art.

Post on the way...

2008-09-23T09:28:00.000-04:00

I have a post written and am uploading photos now. Liam is home sick (day 2) so it'll be about half an hour or so before it's up. But be sure to check back!

This week's challenge brought to you by the letter "I"...

2008-09-20T11:53:00.001-04:00

...as in "Ike."

There is no challenge this week. No art challenge at least. Because of this (click to read.)

Random photo fun

2008-09-09T13:56:00.005-04:00

**UPDATED TO ADD: As far as I can tell, the challenge post and the canvas post are now posted. They're showing up on my screen so I'm hoping that means they're out there for real now! ~ Stacie 2:42 PM, Tuesday 9.9.2008

Compliments of my sister, Lianne!

For some reason blogger does not like my last two posts. The canvas and a challenge are supposed to be posted (I actually wrote out the challenge last night!) But when I try to post it, Blogger says it can't connect. I'm working on it. I promise! But here's something fun to look at while you wait:

A tin pail full of dinosaurs and jewelry and baby doll bottles. This was a random shot from my sister's house and I think it perfectly illustrates her life as a mom to two little girls. This was totally not set up, it was sitting on the kids' blue Ikea table when I walked into the family room. And the great thing about Lianne is that she totally saw the beauty in this image as well and is the one who suggested I shoot it before it dissolved into some other arrangement of girly dinosaur chaos.

Half-finished canvas

2008-09-08T21:04:00.006-04:00

So I wanted to post a few photos of the canvas I was working on for the challenge involving words you love. I chose a book passage by Madeleine L'Engle, one that I've posted to the Art Chick blog in the past.

What started out as a Target Dollar Spot children's canvas (with a cartoon frog printed on it) was gessoed over...

Then inked and collaged a tiny bit.

But here's the deal: I can't figure out if I want to use the entire passage on this one canvas, which is quite a bit to squeeze on text-wise but I like the idea of smaller writing in greater quantity. Or if I want to do the first part of the passage to give it more space for larger printing on this canvas and do additional canvases for the rest of the passage. That idea has the advantage of getting to do more inking and bits of collage and have a set of canvases when I'm finished.

I'll be using white paint/ink and a combination of stamping and free-hand writing to do the text. So what do you think?

P.S. So far this is what I've used:

Tsukineko Brilliance Pearlescent Sky Blue and Pearlescent Olive

Tsukineko Pearlescent Poppy

7Gypsies paper

Black Pop-Dots

Gold butterfly charm

Week 4: What speaks to you? And why?

2008-09-08T19:35:00.001-04:00

Alright, so, if you have an email address? You've probably gotten one of those "Get to Know Your Friends Better" emails. The ones with a bunch of questions like "Do you like chocolate or vanilla better?" or "Are you a beach or skiing vacation person?" Yeah, those. Well, we're going to do a variation of that for this week's challenge. So get ready to do some self examination!

Ok, I'm going give you some questions. Here we go:

1. What is your favorite color to wear?

2. What is your favorite color with which to decorate your home?

3. What is your favorite color in general?

4. What is your favorite season?

5. What is your favorite flower?

6. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?

So those are your questions. I want you to go ahead and write down the question and the answer. That shouldn't take you too long, but please be honest. Don't come up with some answer you think makes you sound more sophisticated or fun. If you're not honest then this won't work for you. After you do that, I want you to put your answers somewhere they won't be lost and don't worry about them for a while. Try to wait at least a few hours before you revisit them for the next part of your challenge...

...and we're back. I hope you had a nice few hours totally forgetting about what you wrote! So here's the next thing I want you to do, and it may seem pointless or even a little difficult at first: I want you to go back over the questions, look at your answers, then ask yourself "Why?" Why do you like to wear a specific color? What is it about your ideal vacation spot that draws you to it? If your favorite color to wear and your favorite color to decorate with are different than your overall favorite color, why is that? And what is it about your favorite season that makes it your favorite? This time, take your time and think about it. And be as honest as possible!

At this point I'm guessing you may be wondering what this has to do with art. Or you may be wishing I'd mind my own business so you didn't have to actually think about anything past your one word answer. But here's the thing, I asked you to be honest in your answers for a reason and here's why: I have a sneaking suspicion that many of us don't dress or decorate with our favorite color. Maybe it's because our favorite color isn't trendy this year. Maybe it's because we feel that color is too bright and would add an extra ten pounds to our image. And I think that simple questions like asking about favorite holidays and favorite vacation spots are often tied up in emotions initially but those emotions are usually generated not only by the people we spend time with during holidays and vacations but also the mood created by the music/noise and also by the visuals like decorations on holidays and architecture or scenery on vacations.

Though it seems like this challenge isn't art related, it is. Or maybe more specifically it's a building block to once again, learning to look at things with a new perspective. Identifying how we respond to specific colors and why, why we choose to dress ourselves and our homes a specific way, and where we choose to spend our free time can tell a lot about us and what we're thinking. I challenge you to be honest about whether you use color because you love it or because you feel like you're supposed to in order to be stylish in how you dress and how you decorate. I challenge you to look at your favorite holiday and look past the possible chaos and stress at the imagery your holiday may have and maybe you'd be surprised to find out you actually have a holiday you are drawn to as your favorite that you never considered before. I challenge you to think about your past vacations or vacation dreams and think about why those places draw you to them. The imagery and experience of skiing down a mountain are vastly different than a walk through Rome in the rain.

We're all different people and I think sometimes we're so used to be "guided" into our emotions and feelings that we lose some of our creativity in our every day lives. I know for a fact that there is a dress in my closet that I would never normally have picked. It's brown and turquoise blue - a blue that is a little more colorful than I'd usually wear. Why? I don't know. I know I'm in a "darker makes you look thinner" mode right now. But I loved the mix of the two colors so much I had to buy it instead and I've gotten more compliments on it than I'd have ever thought!

If you are thinking right now that you choose your own style, make sure you think again. People make millions of dollars creating visuals, writing voice-overs and recording music to create an emotion or belief about their products. Believe me, how you feel is directly related to the imagery you see and hear and experience. Think about that. Think about whether you stifle some of your own creativity because it's easier or trendier to do what everyone else is doing. I'm not saying you're wrong or right. I just want you to think about it. Be more aware. Be more deliberate. And don't sell yourself short. Identify what you like and why and then own that preference as something that is uniquely yours. What you're drawn to is part of your creative identity. Creativity isn't all about output. You can't create without input as well. Without inspiration. Just try to work out whether that inspiration is really what you love. And if it's not, start looking around and figuring out what you do love!

Update: Saturday 9.6.2008

2008-09-06T12:55:00.002-04:00

Just letting you know that I was doing some updating of accounts and code and switching things around (nothing you'll see on the page but stuff that goes on behind the scenes.)

We're back from Maryland, school started last Tuesday, we had four birthdays within our extended family and soccer is in full swing for Liam as well as Rusty's coaching and training for Cincinnati United (formerly known as Lakota United.)

There will be a new post on Tuesday and now that school is back in session I plan on having those posts up on a regular basis again. I really welcome your email and comments and photos. And like I said, if you send me something but you don't want it posted in any way please let me know when you send it, ok?

Also, if you're interested in writing a post or issuing a challenge of your own? You are more than welcome to let me know and we'll figure out when and how to put it up. This isn't "my blog." I want it to be a community project! So let's see what happens, shall we?

Road Trip

2008-08-19T10:55:00.002-04:00

We are getting ready to leave for Maryland tomorrow for a week-long visit. Because I have laundry to do and packing to take care of, and because Rusty is currently in Houston which means I'm doing it all on my own, this challenge will be short and fairly easy to do. It's not really even a challenge so much as an exercise. Or maybe I'm just rambling and it doesn't really matter anyway (entirely possible.)

So here's what you can do this week:

Finish your collage. Or get started on your collage. Or read the collage challenge post and go from there. It's week 3, parts I and II.

For a second option, the easy one I mentioned, you will need to go to Lowe's or Home Depot and wander around their paint department. Go from display to display where they have the paint cards with the colors and names on them. Find one that makes you really happy. Not necessarily one that you would ever use on your walls; this isn't about paint. It's about color. Pick a few with colors that make you feel something. Then take those paint cards home and write or stamp your feeling or word onto that color.

A few things: Please don't go to Walmart or Kmart for the paint cards since they don't have the huge selection of colors that the big box home-improvement stores do. Remember, too, that this isn't about the paint so if you're not a fan of big-box paint, it doesn't matter since you won't be using any paint. Also, feel free to do two or three or seven colors. The more the merrier I always say!

So what's the point? Just another exercise to try to help get those connections going between the visual and the written word. Getting more comfortable with identifying what it is about what you see that makes you feel a certain way, and what that certain feeling is. For example, our bedroom is painted a random color I found for $5 as a mistint. It's a light beach house blue/teal and I love it because as soon as I walk into my room I feel relaxed, like I'm at the beach. The color is a summer color. It's not over-powering or obnoxious. If I had a color card to match, I'd stamp "Summer", "Relax" and "Beach" on it (actually, I'll try to do that when we return next week!)

Anyway, after you get your word and write it or stamp it or letter stickers to put it on your paint card, then put it somewhere you'll see it regularly. Pin it to a memo board or magnet it to your fridge (only if your fridge isn't covered with 342 other things that will cause your paint card to become hard to see.) Or punch a hole in the top and run some ribbon through to make a bookmark for yourself. Heck, if you really like it, do two or three cards and group them together and frame them in a little frame! The sky's the limit. I just want you to have fun and keep the connections going!

Ok, well, I hope you all have a good week. I'm driving out to Maryland tomorrow with the boys while Rusty flies in from Houston (I'll be picking him up at BWI on my way by.) I will most likely not have a challenge up next week as we're supposed to be in Ocean City from Monday to Tuesday though right now the weather is predicting that Tropical Storm Fay will move up the east coast and rain on our beach days. Boo. If we get some decent weather I'll do my best to post some pictures as filler.

Have a good week and take care of yourselves!

Week 3: The Written Word (part 2)

2008-08-12T11:37:00.002-04:00

So here it is: Week 3, part 2. Finally!

So a few weeks ago, when I first posted part one, I asked that you look around and find some form of the written word that moves you. It could be song lyrics, quotes, passages from books, or anything else that someone wrote that makes you happy, makes you think, inspires you or keeps you from losing your mind. There's no right or wrong choice for this.

Next I asked you to gather up some pretty things that give you that same feeling of happiness or inspiration or whatever it was that caused you to pick your words. Like I said, these things can be as random as you'd like - pieces of boken tile or beach glass or pretty clothing tags or magazine ads... again, things that give you a feeling when you see them.

Now that you've gone both of those (you have, haven't you?) we're going to get creative. We're going to make... wait for it... don't start to panic... we're going to make a collage. A mixed-media collage at that.

Yes, you heard me. We're making a collage people. Does that collage word scare you? Does "mixed-media" make you think you may just skip this one? Does it sound too "artistic" or time-consuming or just plain confusing to you? It does? Well, get over it. That's why we're here. I'll make it as easy and painless as possible for you, I promise. Anyone can do this. Anywhere. With just about anything.

So the basics are this: you'll need some sort of base to build on. If you have a canvas laying around then you're set. But I'm betting most of you don't, right? So get creative. Use the cover from an old hardcover book (thrift store shopping, remember?) Or use a piece of plywood. Or cut up a cereal box and use the back of it. Anything relatively sturdy, though you have to remember that it needs to be more sturdy if you're going to add heavier items like rocks or large tile pieces or things like that.

Now remember, collage doesn't mean you have to cover every square inch of your base with stuff. Collage (to me, at least) means using different items together to create. It's a pretty broad term and I fully expect to see lots of different styles and results from different people when they use that term. So again, no right or wrong answers, ok?

After you figure out what you want to build on, and if you decided to buy yourself some gesso, now is the time to prime your base. Let it dry, sand it if you want and repeat that process as many times as you'd like to get whatever smoothness you want on your base to start. Once that's done, you're really ready to play. Have at it!

What I'm hoping for you to do is find the connection between your words and your pretty little things (which, by the way, are your "mixed media".) Look at them and figure out what feeling do they both give you? Do they make you happy? Do they inspire you in some way? Are they just pretty and you love them for that? Then that's great! You've found your connection. Go with it.

Let me stop for a minute and answer a question you may be asking: what the heck are you talking about with this "connection" thing? And of course, since I'm a very visual person but only so-so with words, I'll have to give you an example instead of a straight up answer. Bear with me. Have you noticed that most books you read have covers with more than just words on them? Their covers are designed with specific colors and fonts and images that automatically give you some sort of subconscious idea of what you'll feel or what to expect from the words inside. That is very similar to the connection I'm hoping you can make between your chosen words and whatever pretty little things you gathered to collage.

Alright, so back to the challenge part and how to get started. My suggestion (and it's just that, a suggestion, and not by any means a rule) is to start with your background and give it some color. You can paint it, use ink pads rubbed all over, or even mix some glitter or eye shadow or anything else into some gel medium and rub it around. You can actually do all three of those if you want. Just imagine what you want to see when you look at your finished piece.

Next, start arranging your pretty stuff on the base - without gluing it down for the moment - to get a feel for what you might want to do. Remember you're going to want to eventually put your words on the collage somewhere as well, so leave space or figure out where you want them to be. You can actually write the words on your items if you have a fine point Sharpie and big enough items like a smooth stone or piece or ribbon or glass. Again, no wrong way to do this!

Once you feel like you like the look of things, glue them down. Gel medium, Diamond Glaze, Gorilla Glue... whatever you want to use that will hold things in place for good. You may decide you don't like something and have to take it apart later. And that's ok. You may walk by your piece next week and decide it needs something else, and that's fine too. This is yours. Do what you want to with it.

There is no amount of paint, no number of items, nothing you have to do to get this right. All I want you to do is have fun and create something that helps you make that connection between the visual (your pretty little things) and the words that we read or listen to everyday. I want us to start using our senses to see the world around us in a more free-flowing way. I know that's a weird way to put it, but "flowing" is the word I kept coming back to. I want us to understand that what we see and what we hear and read combine to create images and feelings and thoughts for us personally. And it would make me so happy for you to create your own piece of art that you can look at and have your senses overwhelmed with meaning.

I will be posting my canvas in the next few days and talking more about it and what I'm hoping to do with it. Please, send me any photos or thoughts you might have throughout this part of the challenge, ok? I love hearing from you guys!

P.S. If you're not about to go out and buy supplies or take the time to gather stuff to do this? Please consider just sitting down with a piece of blank paper, a magazine, a pair of scissors and a glue stick or some Scotch Tape. Write your favorite lyrics or poem or quote on the paper then go through the magazine and look at the colors and images. I'm not talking about cutting out a picture of a pretty purse and gluing it down, necessarily (though that's totally fine.) But look harder at things like decorative swirls next to words in an ad or at the scenery out the window in the back of a living room picture... get deeper than the surface. The connection is the mission here, not the supplies. Do what you want to get to that end result, ok?

What you need.

2008-08-03T10:38:00.014-04:00

Do you want to play along? Do you want to create art for fun and profit? (Ok... just for fun, really...) Then here are a few things you may find useful to have when the challenges are posted. I understand that a lot of people are willing to buy basic supplies but they just don't know what to buy or what to do with them once they buy them. Hopefully this will take the mystery out of some of it (I've even included photos because I have had people ask "What does this stuff look like?")

Remember, none of these are "required"; let's get real, you're not being graded on this. And there isn't a lot on this list. But please know you can do any of the challenges and still find your creativity without ever having to purchase anything.

Alright, so here are some things you might want to look for if you're ready to take the next step and buy some supplies and get messy:

Gesso - Simply put, gesso is a primer. Use it on canvas, wood, fabrics, newspapers and any other porous materials you want to use as a base for your creations.

Though artist supply stores are a definite source, gesso can also be purchased at A.C. Moore, Hobby Lobby or Michaels in their fine arts/painting sections, and these stores usually have a weekly coupon you can use.

Gesso comes in a few different forms. You can buy a liquid in bottles or a little bit thicker variety in tubs. When the time comes to use it, I'll explain what to do. But if you want more info up front, Aisling.net has a really great gesso info page that's definitely worth reading over, especially if you've never used gesso before: http://www.aisling.net/journaling/gesso.htm

Gel Medium - I don't even know where to start; I use this for everything. If you're contemplating buying supplies, you need to buy some of this.

Gel medium can be used as a sealer, adhesive and paint additive. Here is a basic description with photos: http://www.liquitex.com/beoriginal/gelmedium.cfm and QuinnCreative has great tips for what type to use when and how: http://quinncreative.wordpress.com/2007/07/09/gel-mediumcoating-the-world/

Again, this is another item that can be found in the fine arts/painting section of the big three craft stores that usually have weekly coupons.

Canvases/books/stuff to create on and with - This is one of the most important things I will say here: Recycle. Keep an open mind next time you're at a garage sale, thrift store or dollar store. You can buy old books and gesso over the pages and use them as art journals or buy old paintings and gesso over them to use as new canvases. Reclaimed lumber is also a good base for creating, especially mixed media pieces - take a piece of scrap plywood, throw some gesso on and sand it and you're ready to go! The bottom line to all this is to keep an open mind and a use different point of view. Just because it's not an "art supply" doesn't mean it's not an art supply.

Photos above: a kids coloring canvas I bought for $1, gessoed over and used for a mixed media collage. The photo on the right is to show was underneath before I gessoed it. I didn't worry about the faint image showing through because I ended up painting a blue/green background over it.

Photos above: $0.50 clearance canvas I bought at Old Time Pottery and plan to gesso and re-use for something else. These canvases are especially great because they already have hardware on the back so they can be hung on a wall.

Pretty much anything can be an art supply if you use a different point of view when looking at it; yard sale jewelry can be pulled part and used in pieces, clothing tags are sometimes mini pieces of art on their own, bobby pins make interesting looking paper clips (especially with a few beads or a charm hanging from them), newspaper makes a cool background for collages when gessoed over lightly so some text shows through, even some colored cellophane candy wrappers are pretty... it's all in how you look at it. Try to look at the shapes and lines and colors rather than the way it's "supposed" to be used. You'll be amazed at what you start to see when you look around.

When you do find something you like, something that you think is pretty or just looks right to you, buy it if you can (but don't pay a lot! Garage sales and thrift stores are our friends.) Keep a shoebox or something similar around to house your stash so you have something to use when inspiration hits.

The only other things I'd say you may need is a few inexpensive paint brushes for applying gesso and/or gel medium (I use my fingers a lot if you want to know the truth... but that's just me...) If you wash them out well with soap and cold water after using them they'll be fine. Also, a decent pair of scissors like the Fiskars Non-stick are a good idea. Again, these are things you can purchase at AC Moore or Hobby Lobby using a weekly coupon to save yourself some money.

So that's it. This is a relatively short list because there is no one project to prepare for. These challenges are personal and one person may be inspired to create a collage while another takes a photograph, so there's no set list of specific things you need.

P.S. If there are supplies any of you feel are absolute must-haves, feel free to leave them in the comments section so other people can reference this as needed!

What I learned while I had strep (a.k.a. stuff I thought about this week.)

2008-08-03T09:27:00.005-04:00

Please know that I have been thinking about the blog and the challenges this past week. I'm on prescription #2 for the strep throat and hopefully that's just going to go away and leave me alone for good already. One good thing about being sick at home for a while is that it's given me time to sit still and think.

I hope everyone (anyone?) reading the Faith & Art Blog is willing to extend a little grace to me as I figure out how this is regular posting thing is going to work. When I put my foot down and said I'm committing to once-a-week updates with weekly challenges I knew I had to start right then and there or it would get lost in the chaos of my life as a wife and mother. Since I'm not getting paid for this, it's not my "job." But it is my passion. And I believe God loves that we're trying to be more creative how we think about our world, our relationships and our lives.

So here's what I've been thinking about:

I will be giving you a pretty basic challenge supply list. These are things that it's good to have on hand at any given time and are relatively inexpensive and will allow you to just jump in to a challenge and go.

I will be posting challenge-specific ingredients lists on Sunday evenings. Like I said in the week 3 challenge, it was a two-parter because I needed to give you time to gather some things to work with. I think I'd rather post the pre-game info on Sunday evenings and give you from then until Tuesday to get specific things together instead of doing two-parters because a week of just gathering without really creating anything gives us too much time to get distracted in between... ok, gives me too much time to get distracted in between.

I will put this in writing now that if you email me with challenge photos or comments or whatever that I'm allowed to post them here without you hating me for the rest of your life. If you don't want an email or its contents posted, it's totally fine (I promise!) but please state that in each email as you send it. This way I don't have to go back and get permission from each person every time I receive something new. I know I go a few day without checking email so it may be a while before someone can get back to me to say it's ok. And you guys do great work and think on a very creative level - you deserve a chance to have that shared with the world!

Ok, so that's what I've been thinking about as I plow through my Z-pack and lay around pathetically watching way too much HGTV and Discovery Channel (it's Shark Week!) I'm going to be posting that basic challenge supply list here in a separate post in a few minutes; I want it in a separate post so I can link it in the sidebar and have it easily found and referenced by anyone who needs it without having to wade through everything I just wrote above.

Please watch Matt Dance.

2008-07-29T15:50:00.001-04:00

It's totally worth it. Seriously.

P.S. If you click on the video it'll take you to it's YouTube page where you can watch a higher res version.

Week 3: The Written Word (part 2)... COMING SOON.

2008-07-29T12:49:00.002-04:00

Yes, I realize it's Tuesday. And it's slightly past noon. But I'm fighting through my second bought of strep throat in four weeks (after not getting it for years!) So it's on hold. I have the text ready to go but really want photos to go along with it and I haven't had a chance to take those photos yet.

In the meantime, I received an email from Teresa with some song lyrics she picked for part one of the challenge. If she allows me, I'd love to post it here as an example of words that create a feeling and/or image that brings God into our little worlds.

Take note, though. Part two of this challenge is the most artsy we've done so far. Be prepared. Gather the stuff I mentioned last week. If you don't yet have your stuff, look around and see what you can find (if you have no idea what stuff I'm talking about, go back and read last week's post!)

I apologize.

2008-07-26T18:44:00.002-04:00

I briefly mentioned a "situation" we were dealing with when I apologized for not posting challenges over the last few weeks. I've finally gotten to a point where I can write more about that situation and it's over at the Art Chick blog if you're interested.

As for Faith & Art, the challenges are back and I hope you'll join in. Check out last Tuesday's post for part one of the most current challenge.

Week 3: The Written Word (part 1)

2008-07-22T10:27:00.001-04:00

Edited to add: I mistakenly posted this to the Art Chick blog today instead of here. And I was so excited to be back in the groove... oy.

I apologize for not keeping up the challenges over the last two weeks. We've had a bought of strep throat, friends in from Maryland, a new nephew born, a trip to Indianapolis, Rusty's mom visiting from Maryland and then an extended family situation which is still going on and which I can't discuss in more detail at the moment because it will make me cry. Or maybe throw something.

I'm so glad to be back to thinking about the connections between faith and art and how they can benefit our relationships with God and with each other.

I fill you with Naming.
Be!
Be, butterfly and behemoth
be galaxy and grasshopper
star and sparrow
you matter
you are
be!
Be caterpillar and comet
Be porcupine and planet
sea sand and solar system
sing with us
dance with us
rejoice with us
for the glory of creation
seagulls and seraphim
angle worms and angel host,
chrysanthemum and cherubim
(O cherubim.)
Be!
Sing for the glory of the living and the loving
the flaming of creation
sing with us
dance with us
be with us.
Be!
- Madeleine L'Engle, A Wind in the Door

So this week is all about the written word. Quotes and book passages and song lyrics and poems and whatever other words gathered together in one place that make you smile or bring you closer to your Creator or give you hope that there is more to all of this than what we're living day to day. Look around and see what you can find. It's up to you whether you want to find one item or multiple items that give you the same idea. I just want you to find something that speaks to you.

Anon, to sudden silence won, in fancy they pursue the dream-child moving through a land of wonders wild and new, in friendly chat with bird or beast and half believe it's true... ~ Lewis Carroll

After you find your something, I want you to start gathering ephemera that relates to your words. For example, old costume jewelry you don't wear anymore or magazine images that give you the same feeling as your words do. You can use anything - old tickets, a pretty rock you find on the ground, pieces of wrapping paper or wallpaper, old greeting cards, a charm that never made it onto a necklace or bracelet, leaves or blades of grass, keys... I've even kept random tags off of clothing I've bought just because the design and colors on the tag catch my eye. I just want you to gather up some small, free or inexpensive things that give you the same feeling inside as your words do. Try to keep these things relatively light-weight though they don't have to be flat; some of the things I mentioned, like keys or rocks, are fine but I wouldn't go super huge or heavy this first time around.

Our Creator would never have made such lovely days and have given us the deep hearts to enjoy them unless we were meant to be immortal ~ Nathaniel Hawthorne

So that's this week's challenge. We're going to take this week and build on it next week in part 2. But I thought since this may be a new experience for some of you I'd give you a full week to gather your fun stuff before we start playing with it.

Listen to the MUSN'TS, child

Listen to the DON'TS

Listen to the SHOULDN'TS, the IMPOSSIBLES, the WON'TS

Listen to the NEVER HAVES then listen close to me

ANYTHING can happen, child.

ANYTHING can be!

Shel Silverstein

(P.S. I'm using the "Be" passage from A Wind in the Door by Madeleine L'Engle, in case you're wondering if I'm playing along too...)

Fallen world again.

2008-07-14T12:49:00.004-04:00

I just don't know what to say. We've loved Katie since her first concert as a teenager at the Vineyard back in the day. I'm sorry for Karen and their boys and for the entire Reider family.

Katie Reider

1978-2008

Today's post.

2008-07-08T17:08:00.002-04:00

We're going to go ahead and work on last week's challenge again this week. I got an email from one person saying they liked the challenge but couldn't work on it because they were out of town this week for July 4th fun and frivolity.

Add in that we have friends in from out of town (YAY, DEEDIE AND BETSY!!) and my youngest sister is due to have a baby any minute now. So go forth, make art and pray for someone then send it.

(I'm not asking anyone to send photos this week in case you're uncomfortable sending a photo of mail you're going to send to someone you don't like.)

Week 2: Wait a minute, Mr. Postman.

2008-07-01T12:00:00.001-04:00

So, yeah. That's a cow in a mailbox. You know what that means... it's time for a mail art challenge!

Now seriously, if you've followed the blog at any point over the last few months then you can't be all that surprised. So here it is. But this isn't really about livestock going postal (though the cow was glorious.) This is about building on last week's challenge and using an altered point of view in your thinking about another person.

Show of hands, how many of you love getting mail? I don't at all mean catalogs, ads, random mail for people who used to live at your address or the worst of it all... bills. No. I mean real, old school, not-electronic mail. My younger sisters used to send me sticker-covered envelopes full of love when I was in college. When I saw one of their works of art in the mailbox it honestly made me feel remembered. It was just a piece of paper and to anyone else at any given time it wouldn't have meant as much. But it was me, and was sent by someone who knew me and loved me. Maybe they didn't realize at the time how important their letters were for me. But I believe God knew, and I believe the mail is a really great way to communicate because it shows someone took the time to buy the postage and send something. It gives you something tangible to read and re-read and hold as proof that someone cares enough to put their feelings and thoughts down on paper for you.

Have you ever roamed through an antique store or flea market and stumbled onto old letters or postcards? Even if you don't know the sender or the receiver, there's a connection because you're able to read a moment in that person's history. There is a permanence to the written word that doesn't seem to die off. I personally think that with the advances in technology over the past fifteen to twenty years we've lost some of that connection. Though email has its place and benefits, it's an easy out sometimes. And be real - if you love getting fun mail in your mailbox then chances are other people do too, right?

So this week's challenge is two part. Part one? I want you to exercise your new-found ability to look at things from different angles until you can find their beauty. Think of someone who could stand to see a little bit of God show up in their mailbox. Not someone easy - you're not allowed to pick your sweet, little old grandma or your best friend. Try to think of someone who wouldn't necessarily make the top of your list if I hadn't suggested it. Maybe you just don't like them that much (yeah, I said that. Be real, you don't like everyone.) But everyone is a child of the Most High God. Everyone is a work of art created by Him and everyone is loved by Him, regardless of whether we can see why or not.

Why do I care if you send mail to someone you adore or someone you aren't as familiar with or even don't even really like much? Because it'll be hard. Because you'll need to go to God to get the love to send them. You'll need to use that new found ability to alter your point of view and try to see this person the way God sees them rather than the way you see them. It'll be Him inspiring it rather than your emotions fueling it. Admit it, it's relatively easy to think of someone you like and wouldn't be too terribly hard to think of something to dash down on a card or postcard and put in the mail. But we're not doing this because it's easy.

If that makes you nervous? Remember this - you don't have to sign your mail love. It can be anonymous. Maybe in some situations it would be smarter to be anonymous anyway so your personal feelings don't show through and allow the receiver to just see the God showing through. Use your best judgement on this aspect.

So if you're sitting there saying, "but I like everyone!", then I'm going to reply that you need to get over yourself. I think just about everyone can find an old friend, a relative, a co-worker or neighbor that they don't especially care for. Send a postcard to that annoying neighbor and tell them how pretty their flowers are. Send a decorated item to your second-cousin's brother-in-law telling him he's loved rather than how terrible his table manners are. Find the address of your freshman year roommate and let them know, via handmade card with a funky envelope, that they are a work of art rather than telling them how glad you are that they no longer share your space. Work that new-found ability to look at things from all angles and find their beauty. I totally get that you may have to try a lot of angles before you find it. But even if their beauty only comes from being created by God? That's more than enough. Go with it.

Part two is a little easier. After you've decided who you're going to send to then create something and put it in the mail to them. Make a postcard, a card, write a letter and create the most elaborately decorative envelope ever. Or buy something funky (like a cow) and re-work it then send that. What you send isn't as important as why and to whom. But I will be honest and say that I bet once you get past who you're going to mail to, you'll actually start to have fun with it. It's like once your brain realizes you're giving up and getting over yourself, you'll find you'll try even harder to make something beautiful. I honestly believe it's because once you let go God takes over. Like a child mimicking a parent, we find ourselves wanting to create a work of art like our Father does.

Let me say one more thing, for those of you muttering, "But I'm a writer* not an artist" (*insert any other non-artist identity as well.) If that's the case, use the gift you have to bless the receiver. Make a basic postcard but put your heart into the message you write on it. God knows. And I think it'll show through.

Tips:

Use the U.S. Postal Service website for info on what you're allowed to mail. Some of this may sound obvious but read through the list (I didn't realize you couldn't make a magnet and throw it in a mailbox!) Click here to see the list and then click around the site for info and tips.
If you need an address you don't have, Google it. Dig out your old address book. Call someone else who may have it. Put some effort into it. Remember, I said it may not be easy at first!
For non-paper items especially, use a Sharpie marker for the address. If it rains, it won't run. If you're stamping on something, use StazOn ink or another solvent based ink that won't run if it gets rained on. You can also brush a coat of gel medium or modge podge over inked parts to seal them.
If your post office has a self serve kiosk in the lobby? Use that. In all honesty, postal workers are only human and often times will mistakenly give you wrong information and/or insist "you're not allowed to do that." If your item fits the post office guidelines for size, etc. then use the kiosk to weigh your mail, print postage, etc. then put it in the box. It's less intimidating.
Even if you make a standard sized postcard you should weigh it. When you make something by hand, even the glue can add a tiny bit of weight and when you're measuring in ounces, it best to be safe. The lobby kiosk usually has a digital scale.
If you're making anything other than a postcard you'd be safest to write "Please Hand Cancel" somewhere on the item. In red marker next to the address is always a safe way to go. This way your item won't be sent through the machine and won't be broken or beat up (even with postcards you may want to go this route if there is anything lumpy attached to it.)
Use that same new-found point of view to wander around the dollar store or craft store and look at things with the thought, "How would that look showing up in someone's mailbox?" Jodi used some serious creative thinking for the flip-flop mail. And the cow came from the Target dollar spot. All I did was fancy it up and mail it.
If you put the emphasis on who you're going to send to and why you're sending it, the rest will be fine. A handmade postcard (or a photo with a note on the back addressed like a postcard) is fine and in some cases, is best. Pray about it and go with it.
Pray over whatever you send before you send it. Seriously. It sounds kind of religious-nut like. But if we believe God works through our creativity then give that piece of creativity back to God before you send it out (it could also use the extra help getting through the mail.)

So, after all that? Have fun! Get creative! I've included some photos for inspiration:

Jodi sent a decorated flip-flop. And I loved it.

I made this postcard for my friend Amy to show her how beautiful I think she is!

Regardless of what a mean postal person says, you are allowed to mail things like this without an envelope. Just stick the right amount of postage on it and throw it in a mailbox!

This is a postcard I made for my friend Mindy. When I grow up I want to be Mindy.

A postcard made out of pieces of corrugated cardboard box with decorated tissue paper glued to it (seriously, you can use anything to make something fun!)

Week 1: Heather's Point of View

2008-07-01T11:07:00.002-04:00

I received an email from Heather earlier this morning. In it she included a photo and the point of view that gave her the inspiration to take the picture. I wanted to post it before I get the week two challenge up. In her email, Heather wrote:

"I then noticed the tufts of grass - which are not just surviving within this concrete jungle, such as it is, but are thriving in their environment. We're called daily to bloom where we're planted and to THRIVE - not merely survive."

So is there anything "magical" about the little clumps of grass Heather photographed? No. I mean, on a technical level I love the contrast between the dirty gray bits of gravel and the healthy green grass sprouting up (I really like the vertical lines of the grass against the rough background of the rocks!) But the magic is in that it made her pause and think instead of passing by a little scenario most of us walk or drive by every day. And the thought she had is something that she will keep in mind and something she has passed along. Now it's posted here and others can read it, think about it and hopefully remember it as well.

Thank you for the email, Heather!

Week 1: Challenge results

2008-06-30T22:25:00.002-04:00

So I guess I didn't really think through how and when I'd post any photos or email I get regarding each week's post. Since I had a response from Teresa that included some great photos, I want to make sure those photos and part of her email get are put up here so you guys can check them out and read her insights on the storm.

In Teresa's email she writes:

"Anyway, to explain, I took a picture of the impending storm last night. Yes it was very ugly outside but I still find the beauty in how God can totally change the sky and perform a great symphony and out of that storm, flowers bloom and the earth just looks greener, not to mention, my car gets washed...LOL! As you can tell in one of the pics, you can see leaves and other debris flying around. Isn't it wonderful? God is soooooo cool!"

*Teresa also sent a great photo of a delicate little flower among some old, gray mulch but it's being difficult and though I can view it, it won't upload from the email. Trust me, the composition is wonderful and it's a great photo!

I really want to thank you, Teresa, for taking the time to email me with your photos. I love hearing and seeing your vision of God in the midst of a storm. I think it's so true! And I'm really excited to see someone get something out of last week's post. To anyone that didn't take part or didn't post, please feel free to send me your photos and thoughts at any point, ok? Send week one during week ten if you want. It's not about when you take part. I just want to be able to give you new ways of thinking and looking at things so that you find new ways of looking at God and your relationship with Him! (and really, I'm not giving you anything new. This is all God's stuff. I'm not capable of coming up with this on my own!)

Week 1: Point of View

2008-06-23T20:16:00.021-04:00

The poet Horace once wrote, "Nothing is beautiful from every point of view." To which I reply that I believe the opposite is also true - nothing is ugly from every point of view. And so begins your training, young padawan: Change your point of view. Literally.

There are an awful lot of times when we look around and take a quick mental inventory then move on. We glance over things that are familiar to us and may even miss small, unfamiliar things altogether if we're in a hurry. Sometimes the environment in which an item resides can make it seem more unattractive and not-beautiful than it really is (your cube, your overgrown backyard, your least-favorite relative's house...)

A 19th century British painter named John Constable once said," There is nothing ugly; I never saw an ugly thing in my life: for let the form of an object be what it may - light, shade and perspective will always make it beautiful." I think this is one of the most true things I've ever heard. It's all about the point of view.

Why is point of view such a big deal? Why does it matter if you think something is beautiful or not or if you have any opinion on the object either way? It does matter.

Seeing as how most of us have been raised in a Hallmark nation where we tend to cliche everything possible into greeting card-sized packages, most of us have heard once or two hundred times that beauty isn't always something you see. Funny thing is that it's true. And another funny thing is that a lot of us still don't really believe it.

Also? It's not only the "ugly" that needs its beauty found and freed. Sometimes the boring and bland are more deadly to our spirits than the flat out ugly. They don't get a second thought yet are the things we have to stare at day after day. Finding their beauty is a ginormous challenge because we have to actually see them and realize they're there before we can really look at them. I'm not sure I've actually ever heard anyone exclaim, "Holy guac, that's the most beautiful bumper sticker stuck on the most attractive lamp post in the entire city!" And yet... it has its beauty.

Sometimes it is hard to find the beauty in a dark place or an nondescript environment. But it's there. There's always something. And seeing as how we have no choice but to live in this world until we pass on into the next? What better way to live - finding the beauty in everything possible. It's a very valuable physical discipline to have because I believe it passes from your physical into your spiritual. And finding the beauty in the world around you is healing for your spirit. It's growing material for your spirit. It's comforting and energizing and life-affirming and helps you find glimpses of heaven here on earth. You get to where you can see how these bits of earthly beauty are just practice runs and you start to realize you can't wait for the day when it's the real thing.

Lastly, before I issue the grand re-opening first Faith & Art challenge I want you to realize this will be good for you. Good for your spirit and for your head. Because once you find the beauty around you? You may find it easier to find some beauty within you. You see yourself a little more like the Father sees you and a little less like the world, and your worst critic (a.k.a. you) see yourself. When you learn to forgive other things for their dirt and dings and scratches you'll find it easier to look past your own to see the character those things give you.

So here's your challenge for the week:

Go find something not-beautiful. Something you wouldn't normally take a photo of. Bypass the butterfly and look at the ants. Don't pick the roses, check out the stump in your side yard. I don't care if it's outside, inside, new, old, whatever. Just don't pick something "pretty."
Take a picture of it. But don't just run out and take a picture and be done with it. Take a bunch. Take them from different angles. Find its beauty. Discover the light and shape and form and capture it.
Email the photo to me or post it to the Faith & Art Yahoo Group if you want (there is a photo album set up for challenge images.) I'm asking you to do this because if I leave it at just taking a photo, then time will get away from you. Take a picture this week. Do something with that picture. If you don't post it somehow, then at least let me know what you picked and tell me about it's beauty as best you can (see... sending me a photo would just be easier on you.)
Take your new-found ability to "Find the Beauty in the Ugly" (thank you, Mr. Mraz) and think of someone or something that seems very not-beautiful... and find their beauty. You don't have to photograph it. But I'd love for you to put it in writing. Not necessarily for me. You can put it on a post-it and stick it to your mirror, write it on a scrap of paper and use it as a bookmark, stick it to your fridge... I don't care. But write it down. Writing it down makes it real and helps you to remember it. If you do want to tell me, feel free to leave a comment here so other people can read it or email me and I'll use it confidentially. Or post it to the Faith & Art Yahoo group.
Pray about this. Pray that God will continue to alter your point of view to more closely resemble His. That one person that you swear is unlovable? Is loved. If for no other reason than they are a child of the Creator just as we each are.

Here is some inspiration for your point of view changes. Go forth and look at the world around you, people.

P.S. Yes. I will be doing these challenges and posting my results here right along with anyone else who wants to play along at home.

More "New" info

2008-06-21T22:31:00.003-04:00

So here are a few more details about the when and where and how to follow along with the new way of working with this blog.

The major weekly post, the one including a project or challenge, will be up by noon on Tuesdays. I will do my best to have photo examples of any projects I post. There may be random posts in between Tuesdays so we'll see how it works.

Also, if you were trying to figure out how to join the Faith & Art Yahoo group I mentioned? Click here: Faith & Art Yahoo Group. You should see the Faith & Art watercolor-looking banner, the same one from here on the blog, over to the right. Above that banner, and a little farther over to the right, you should see a blue rectangular button that says, "Join this group!" That's what you want. Click that, follow the instructions and I generally have you ready to go within the next day if not sooner.

Check back on Tuesday for more fun and frivolity!

It's on.

2008-06-19T12:48:00.011-04:00

Hey there!

So you may be wondering what this photo has to do with faith and art. You may be wondering what happened to faith and art and what happened to this blog since it's been a while since anything has been posted. Well, it's here. I'm here. And here's the deal - this isn't just an "idea" anymore (I've tried to link back to specific posts or other things that explain... re-introduce... the hopes I have for this blog, the group and the idea overall.)

This whole Faith & Art thing is what I honestly feel like is God's gift to me. Not gift as in "I'm so gifted" or "my gift is my art." But gift as in God loves me so much that He decided He would plant this idea because He knew that it would bless my life in my thinking and my actions and that it has been a seriously great thing for me in that even when I'm not posting, the faith and art connection is something that is woven through just about every aspect of my life. This post started it all: Art.

Ok, so if that's the case then what happened? Why did the posts dwindle and the challenges stop? Well, for a time, I started to think maybe I wasn't personally capable of making this successful. I let myself think maybe this would serve it's purpose more as a small-group in a church setting. And let me be perfectly clear here: I knew better. A church small group was never part of what I felt like God was giving me to think about. It was always a community thing - whether the original idea of being rooted in the community of St. Bernard or somehow adapting to the suburban life God seems to have for us right now. But ultimately I ran into the same problem I addressed in this post: In which I tell it like it is. For me at least.

I felt like I had to censor myself and what I was feeling creatively in order to be church-safe and "Christian." That's not anyone's fault but mine. Remember, I knew this was never supposed to be a church group and the only reason I didn't stick with that was because I doubted whether I was capable of starting or leading something like this. So now, six months later, I'd like to say I know better and I'm totally capable. And I want to. That's where the photo from above comes in.

Yesterday I volunteered for the Springdale Vineyard's S.O.S. event. "S.O.S." stands for Summer of Service and involves 800+ high school students from all over the country going out and doing small things in great love to change the world. My volunteer role in the afternoon was as a photographer for a free block party in Lincoln Heights, where crime and poverty are a big problem. So three buses full of spaztic jr. high and sr. high students were dumped out and started setting up food tents, games, moon bounces, face painting tents. and speakers. They went door-to-door telling people about the free food and free games and prayed for anyone who would let them.

The kids who showed up were ecstatic and the adults were grateful. And it wasn't some sort of "we're here because we're so holy so we're going to bless your lives by doing this" kind of thing. Trust me, I saw it, the SOS kids and adult volunteers were just as blessed by it. You can't see that kind of poverty, watch a woman buy drugs on the street then return and ask you to pray for her or knock on a door to find a couple who hadn't eaten in three days and bring them food because the husband was too sick to walk... you can't take part in that without having it slap you in the face that you are f-ing blessed to have been lucky to win the birth lottery and many of these people haven't and that gives you the responsibility to do something to help. These kids were affected. With great power comes great responsibility, and being born into a middle-class or upper-middle-class family in the United States means you have some power, whether it seems like it or not.

So again, you're probably wondering what in the world does this have to do with art? Well, again, my afternoon role was photography and visually documenting the block party. Because of that, I was able to capture:

images of high school kids praying with a Lincoln Heights police officer
images of those same kids praying with an older woman who was seriously grateful that they cared
photos of random neighborhood kids having a great time in a pick-up football game with some SOS kids and a youth leader who let them tackle him, jump on him and have him love all over them while they just got a chance to be kids in a safe environment
seeing four obviously dedicated police officers come into a crowd of neighbors knowing a lot of the kids names and seeing the kids and adults showing obvious respect and even admiration and affection to these people who risk their lives to protect them every day
a chance to photo-document two of the police officers dancing Soulja Boy with the neighborhood kids and the SOS kids
capturing on film any number of other small interactions between SOS kids and Lincoln Heights residents

The result is over 100 photos of God making His presence known in Lincoln Heights on a Wednesday afternoon in June. The ability and desire to capture that is art. And I was so humbled to be able to be a part of that, to be given part of the responsibility to put on record that there are teenagers who are willing to give up a week of their summer to do something bigger than themselves while learning that having only themselves to give is a huge thing. It woke up, in me, the desire to move on with this.

A few kids asked about a necklace I was wearing which was one that I made. They wanted to know how and if they could do it and I was so irritated with myself that I hadn't posted directions online so I could tell them that of course they could do it - that was an exact moment of why I want Faith & Art online and updated regularly and accessible to everyone.

So here's the deal. This is no longer a hobby. This blog will be updated in the following manner:

Once a week I'll be posting.
You will be able to come here without having to buy a book or keep up with a reading schedule.
There will be some sort of challenge or project or idea for you to take and act on.
There is currently a Faith & Art Yahoo group that I would encourage you to join if you want to chat about anything posted during the week (you can change the settings so that you only get email once a day or once a week, etc. and you're not obligated to post anything to the group if you would rather only read what others are posting.)
There will be a gallery on the Faith & Art group page showcasing projects you and anyone else do reglated to the challenges.
There will also be a gallery with photos of outside projects anyone wants to show off.
Even if you decide to joing the Yahoo group you are not obligated to ever create anything or post pictures of anything if you'd rather just hang out and see what everyone else is doing. You're not obligated to do anything if you're not comfortable doing anything in this setting.
There will be get-togethers for anyone who's interested and those will be posted on the Faith & Art Yahoo group as well, only because I'm not comfortable asking people to post addresses or contact phone numbers or the like on an open blog like this. I will post here on the blog when those gatherings are taking place and if you are not a member of the Yahoo group you can email me for more information.

So that's it. To close, here are some more photos of the block party yesterday. I also volunteered as a pray team member last night and it was also very humbling and made me miss our YoungLife leader days. But no photos there unless Vineyard posts something. I'll let you know.

Jodi rocks the postal system.

2008-05-28T16:28:00.001-04:00

Otherwise known as "the one where I received a flip-flop in the mail"...

The mail art has begun. Jodi's the reigning mail art queen. For now...

P.S. Ignore my double-chin. Unless I slump, I'm always looking down into the iSight camera.

It's about time... dag!

2008-05-28T12:16:00.002-04:00

(I bet Jodi's thought that exact quote ten ot twenty time in the last few months!)

Ok, so, field days are over (check!) Final third-grade project turned in (check!) Final after-school activity day over (check!) Teacher's gifts sent to coordinating parents (check!) Five more school days then our lives are finally ours for the summer... niiiiiiiice.

Alright, so this is what's up. I have a summer project that is in response to some mom who are interested in me offering art classes geared toward elementary school and middle school aged kids. I'll be gathering info and posting something hopefully in mid-July. I think the online idea with in-person meetings once or twice a session would be the way to go. The classes would start at the beginning of the school year and run in quarterly sessions. I want to gather info because some of the interest is from home-schooling families looking for art curriculum so I want to see what kind of requirements are needed in different districts around here.

Now please, before anyone says, "Oh! Sign me up! I want my kid to be the next Van Gogh!" let me first say that "No, you don't." Van Gogh voluntarily cut off his ear. All creative talent aside that's not the action of a man who's mentally stable. I'd like my little proteges to have all their little body parts in tact when they leave, thanks.

But this is not that kind of art class. This is a let's see what kind of mess we can make class. One challenge I'd like to put out is that each child find something in their home that they absolutely believe they could not use to make art (my son insisted I couldn't use a Matchbox car. My son was way wrong.) I want kids to see that art isn't all about the technical aspects. They figure out soon enough whether they're talented enough to move into that area. This is just as much about how you look at the world as it is how you interpret it artistically. I think that aside from being an "art class" it will give kids a more creative way of looking at the world that can really help develope their creative thinking skills and them through other areas of their lives as they grow.

I have three parents who have let me know they're interested in some version of this. If you are interested, let me know and I'd like to take your opinion into account as well. Feel free to email if you're not comfortable posting a comment!

(Ooooh... this must be a good idea because I'm starting to get a little giddy... are you giddy? I'm totally giddy...)

Prayer requested.

2008-04-23T12:14:00.002-04:00

Don't worry. It's nothing tragic or urgent. It's just personal. Wondering how to take God's path for my existence rather than one that may have more to do with my ego and personal feelings.

I was telling one of my friends about a totally bizarre answer we had to a prayer we've been praying for almost a year now. Last week we got a phone call from the Fairfield library saying they thought they have something that might belong to us. Having only been there once, maybe twice in the last year and half since we've been back I couldn't imagine what it would be. I thought maybe it was my library card from when my purse was stolen back in 2002. It turned out to be God answering a year-old prayer in an amazingly creative way.

We have all of our important documents in one plastic file folder that is usually in a safe place in the house. That folder was taken with me to register Sean for school around this time last year (it has our birth certificates, social security cards, shot records, etc.) I've found that if I take those documents out of the main folder - which is florescent green - then they're more likely to get lost on their own. So anyway, I had the folder for registration and the next day we were having a garage sale. I took the folder out of the car and while getting side-tracked with the sale I put the folder down on a shelf in the garage.

So the morning of the garage sale, we had the garage door open but everything for sale was out in the driveway itself. It rained and Rusty and I had a table with chairs set up just inside the garage door. This seemed to be an invitation to shoppers to come into the garage and rummage through things that were not for sale. I know at one point a man picked up the green folder to look at the box underneath. I remember because he asked about something in the box to which I replied, "That's not for sale" and put the folder on a higher shelf then turned to talk to someone else rummaging through the stuff for sale. That was the last time we saw the folder.

Fast forward a few months and we realize it's gone and most likely it had disappeared that day. What should have taken one day to get my Ohio driver's license took weeks as I waited for a social security print-out to verify my number, a new birth certificate, etc. We talked to the social security agency and our numbers were put on an alert status meaning any time something came through using that number it wouldn't be ok'd until we were notified. We struggled with whether to re-order everyone's birth certificates, social security cards and our marriage certificate (something you can only do in person right now where we were married in Maryland.) It would cost a lot of money, a lot of time and some confusion as the supporting documents you needed to request one thing were needing to be replaced as well.

A month or so ago we sent up one last prayer of, "If they're really gone, please let us know and we'll go on from here." I'll admit, after turning the house upside down twice and cleaning out the garage a few times, I honestly figured they were stuck in some closet or cabinet and was surprised when they didn't turn up. The alternative was kind of scary - with birth certificates and social security cards someone can really jack up your credit history and your life overall. I was planning on using some of the tax rebate money to go ahead and re-order the paperwork that proves the history of our family. Then the library guy called.

The folder turned up sometime last fall. After hearing our story they figure it was dropped of there since it's a somewhat "official" location but the person wouldn't be subject to questions on how they obtained it. In all honesty, I don't necessarily think it was "stolen" as there is just as much chance that someone else picked it up to look at whatever was underneath it and may have walked away not realizing what they had until it was too late (I could see where returning a folder to someone and having to say, "I just walked off with your whole life's worth of paperwork. I promise I didn't copy anything down. So sorry... here you go" would be kind of scary.)

So why did I just tell you this very long yet strangely fascinating story? Because it's just proof that God is not boring. God is not easy to figure out. Sometimes the route to answered prayer seems so cut and dry... and obvious... and yet it's not God's answer. It's ours. Because we're so short-sighted, you know? So that's what I'm wrestling with right now. What does God want me to do with the ideas He's given me. The obvious answer seems to be the one that's staring me in the face right now. The path with someone saying, "You'd be perfect for this." And to be honest, some instant gratification and ego boosting. I just want to make sure that's what God wants. And that's why I ask for your prayers.

Thanks.

Game on.

2008-04-20T23:07:00.004-04:00

So tomorrow I'm tackling laundry. My workroom is right next door to the laundry... closet (calling it a laundry "room" is a bit of a stretch.) But tomorrow, while the laundry cycles, it begins. Mail art. I'm making it and annoying the West Chester postal service by sending it out. Any size, any shape... if it fits the size/weight requirements then I'm tossing it in a mailbox and letting them deal with it (seriously, I heard about someone who sent a message in a coconut and now I'm enthralled.)

If you're interested in being added to the list of mail art recipients? Don't be shy - email me at faith.art@gmail.com and make sure to give me your mailing address. You never know what you'll find in your mailbox some day down the road...

Spring (it's about time.)

2008-04-03T21:16:00.004-04:00

Rusty stopped on the way home from the airport Sunday to buy tulips as a "thank you" for me letting him spend half of spring break in Vegas with Erik, Buddy and two other friends. The tulips were really tight buds Sunday afternoon then sometime Monday they just exploded!

I took some photos this afternoon because the colored ones especially are gorgeous, with their green tinged undersides gradually changing to blazing pinks, oranges and yellows. I also loved the light coming through the blue of the old mason jar.

Then this evening I'm sitting at the table working on my laptop with the flowers in front of me. They are directly underneath the table light fixture and the pink/orange flowers look like they're votive cups glowing with a lit candle inside. I literally couldn't think I was so enthralled with the light and color. I had to take more photos. Thankfully (for you) I only uploaded nine here. I took 22 overall and seriously, it's not my photography but the creation itself that is so crazy beautiful!

They're also over at Flickr if you'd like to see bigger, in-your-face images (when you get to Flickr, just click the small images to see the big versions):

http://www.flickr.com/photos/art_chick/sets/72157604373194672/

Be.

2008-04-02T22:42:00.001-04:00

I fill you with Naming.
Be!
Be, butterfly and behemoth,
be galaxy and grasshopper,
star and sparrow,
you matter,
you are,
be!
Be caterpillar and comet,
Be porcupine and planet,
sea sand and solar system,
sing with us,
dance with us,
rejoice with us,
for the glory of creation,
seagulls and seraphim
angle worms and angel host,
chrysanthemum and cherubim.
(O cherubim.)
Be!
Sing for the glory
of the living and the loving
the flaming of creation
sing with us
dance with us
be with us.
Be!

Oh, I love pretty words and the flashes of heaven they bring forth.

I am Amazed.

2008-02-04T13:10:00.000-05:00

What's up.

2008-01-29T15:10:00.001-05:00

This isn't supposed to be some big announcement; there is no immediate action being taken other than occasionally scanning the MLS listings and noticing For Sale signs. But Rusty and I are thinking. And praying. And realizing that maybe what we're feeling isn't just emotional. Maybe it's God answering our prayers - to help us see what's important, what's not, what's worth the time and effort and what's not real or valuable in the grand scheme of things.

We have our eye on the building in St. Bernard (see here: Faith & Art.) If it goes on the market? We will most likely start praying more specifically. Then based on that, make an offer on the St. Bernard building and put our house up for sale. If it doesn't go on the market, we'll still be praying and keeping our eyes open to options in St. Bernard, Norwood or even North Avondale; an older house that need attention but where we can focus less on upgrading to the next newer and bigger neighborhood and more on moving farther up and farther in. Something that frees up our resources to let us do more for God and less for our so-called survival. Sounds kind of hippie, doesn't it?

When I first posted about the building in St. Bernard, I mentioned that I felt like God had put on the brakes. I said I was feeling a sort of tension, that there was something I needed to do or work through. That "something" has been happening over the last couple of months. And it's been crazy to walk through it and watch Rusty go through it - on his own and also with me.

I know the idea of moving out of the excellently-rated Lakota school district makes no sense. I know some people will not be able to grasp our reasoning for considering this. But God rarely makes sense. If He made sense I don't think I could be a follower. Who wants to make sense?

Regardless of where we go, we feel like we really need out of this immediate area. It's too easy for Rusty and I personally to fall into thinking life is great and we've "made it" and live happily ever after. I guess we're feeling like the happily ever after comes at the end and what we do until then is something we need to be more deliberate about.

So for now we're praying like always. And saying out loud that we'll go where God can use us. If He wants us here, we'll stay. And we'll live with that if that's the answer. But the point is, we're open. And I'm betting we'll be able to tell so that's why I'm not worried and why we're not making this a big deal.

*If you're just joinging in, you probably need to read these to figure out what the heck I'm talking about:

http://byhisdesign.blogspot.com/2007/02/cincinnati.html

http://faithandart.blogspot.com/2007/03/faith-and-art.html

http://faithandart.blogspot.com/2008/01/honesty.html

Honesty.

2008-01-11T14:43:00.000-05:00

I've started this post so many times before but deleted in the name of sanity or common sense or just plain being unrealistic. Or possibly offending someone. But I feel like I'm being dishonest anymore. I have to get this out.

I posted this a while back and talked through whether it was about the building itself or if it would work somewhere else. It then turned into "can it happen in the suburbs?" and I honestly tried to convince myself it could. I wanted it to be able to work in the suburbs, so I could still be on the rational side of things. But the reality is that I don't think it can. Not on the scale it needs to be. That I feel God wants it to be.

I feel like my brain works differently than most of the people around here. Where they see "bigger and better" I see people living with blinders on. People need to wake up and see the creativity all around them, the creation of the One True Creator. And be amazed at their link to Him - that they are made in His image. We are made in the image of the One who created the trees in my backyard and the stars that shine over us when we sit outside in the summer talking way late into the night. I'm just not sure any of that is really visible when you can't see past the three car garages and multi-level decks of our area.

God is so very close to us and so many people are not even aware of it. We're too busy worrying about our mortgage or our work stresses or the kids or the newest episode of whatever's on TV. And I'm not saying those things are inherently bad and don't deserve our time - we have to plan our own family budget in order to survive just like anyone else. But these things are not life. They are not what's real and good and true about this time we have on earth until God calls us to the next life.

I try to believe I can be a part of that awakening here where we are. But the reality is that I feel like I'm dying. Only part of me is allowed to be of use in the conversation, and it's not up to me which part is usable. I don't identify here. I miss the reality of life closer in and closer-up.

So here is my insanity. I want out of here. I want to move closer to the city. If I thought we could break even (not even "if I thought we could re-coup our down payment") but if we could just break even, I'd talk to Rusty seriously about moving. Moving to St. Bernard. Or Norwood. Or Northside... one of those "Oh my god, you can't be serious! Those aren't nice places to live!" or "They're schools aren't the best" or insert any other "you're insane" replies here. And you'd be right... and totally wrong.

As far as "nice" places to live? I struggle. What makes them nice? I can plot my own lifeline on the street grid of St. Bernard. Where family members lived, where events took place, where softballs games were played on July 4th and where cousins, parents and grandparents went to school. I find that nice. But that's not all there is. I would be happy in Norwood. Or even Hartwell. Or somewhere else close in. There is a reality to it. The people who never make enough money to move to the suburbs aren't necessarily less worthy of knowing. You just have to be willing to know them. And I so am. I miss the reality of life. I'm tired of the prettiness of the suburbs. I want the beauty of the struggle to live every day.

I know it's just geography. I should be happy anywhere. And I'm not "unhappy." I just long for more. And not the "more" the rest of my neighbors long for. I don't eventually want a bigger house. Or a newer car. I want a more conscious life.

I'm rambling, I know. But this stuff is spilling out and I seriously am almost drowning in it. It doesn't make sense. I don't know if it's possible. But I'm saying now, for the record, that if God has a way then I'm willing. And Rusty gets it. Which makes me, again, thank God profusely for sending us to each other. He gets that life is not what we see on the surface and he gets that I get speechless by a clear sky with a full moon turning the edges of the clouds gold and can't carry on a conversation for the beauty of it all.

Also? Know this is about God and not me. If God wants me in the suburbs? I'm here. I'm His. Do with me what you will. But the ultimate goal is the same. Waking people up before it's too late, for the love of God and the love of beauty and all things real.

I rant. I know. This is just my brain online, really. Sorry it's a mess but it's sure as hell as real as I can possibly be. I am His. There's nothing more I can say than that.

Follow-up

2008-01-04T15:10:00.000-05:00

In regards to Brian's comments, I can hear some of you wondering, "but isn't the the duty of the artist? To help the non-artists among us to see things they can't see on their own?" To that I say, "almost." It's a fine line, but not quite it, at least in my opinion.

I firmly believe we, as artists, are called to help people come into fellowship with God on many different levels - through performance, through song, through music, visual arts, mutli-media, etc. But we're not to worship for them. We're here to help them learn to see more, look deeper and listen to everything, not just the surface noise.

If I create something that helps you come into worship with God? I'm humbled. Honestly. But if I create something that helps you see a new way of coming to a place of worship on your own? Something that you learn that you can take with you? That's even more thrilling for me.

It's cliche, but true, that "teach a man to fish" saying. I want my ideas and pieces to not be the end result. I want them to be a springboard for more. The little rock in the water that sends ripples further out.

And seriously, this post is total proof that I'm definitely a visual person and not so good with the words. Oy.

Thank you, Brian.

2008-01-04T15:07:00.001-05:00

His comments about art reaffirm what I'm already feeling. You go, Brian.

Art theory.

2007-12-17T14:46:00.000-05:00

I'm so excited about the group of people who have joined in the art and faith conversation. Some from our church, a couple of Vineyard representatives and my favorite new person from Crossroads. Even before our first meeting face to face (and in Emily and Teresa's case, not yet face to face) I felt a familiarity with them. It's got to do with the art. Not the drawing/painting/sculpting stuff. I mean, for example, Brent's a musician but I have a very basic music knowledge, enough to pound out a tune on a piano if the music is written in a beginner's song book. There appears to be little in common on the very surface. But it's a way of thinking and seeing things. That's one reason why I enjoy reading Emily's blog (http://www.emmuses.blogspot.com) Because she reminds me of Sherri, my friend from Cedar Ridge who was constantly seeing the God in unusual yet everyday scenerios. And once you see the God, you see the beauty. Sherri had this completely great analogy for living life. She used crayons as examples. I'm going to use it here and build on it a little.

Imagine two yellow crayons. One is brand new out of the box, pointy, perfectly yellow with clean yellow paper wrapped tightly around it. The other crayon is shorter, its tip is gone and is now a rounded end. The paper is torn down to expose more of the crayon after the tip wore down. The paper is probably streaked with other colors from being tossed in a bucket or bin instead of neatly placed back in it's original box. The crayon itself may have spots where other crayons rubbed against it when the bucket was jostled around.

Which crayon would you rather be? The brand-spankin'-new crayon that was so pretty or the torn up used stubby one? We, especially those of us who call ourselves artists, should aspire to be that stubby one. The one that has been used to create things bigger and better than themselves. Sometimes even coloring outside the lines (gasp!) The one that has been thrown in the mix, bears the marks of having spent time with others - some streaks of other colors that compliment yellow and some that totally contrast with it. Sometimes using that yellow crayon with other colors marked all over it can change the yellow when you use it - there may be some of the other colors mixed in if the marks went deeper than just the surface paper. A lot of times when that happens you find that you like the "new" yellow more than the original and you'd never have discovered it if you had a brand new one.

I used to have a beat all to hell yellow crayon pinned to my bulletin board, after my friend Betsy told me about hers and in honor of Sherri before we moved (it was one of the crayons for little kids, with the flat side so they wouldn't roll away.) That crayon's paper was half gone, it had red crayon marks all over it with some black, blue and brown as well. The tip was so worn that you couldn't tell which end had previously been the tip. You could tell that thing had done some serious coloring time. And that's what I want to be at the end of my life. Someone who's not afraid to get used by God to do some serious coloring, get in the mix with people who both compliment or contrast with myself to make something bigger than just my one original 'color.' I want to have not much left over, if at all. Crayons aren't meant to be bought and looked at then put back in the box. And neither are we.

Mural time.

2007-12-15T13:40:00.001-05:00

In other news, I did this last week. It's a mural. On the kitchen wall by the doorway to the dining room (the dining room is that blue room through the doorway in the first shot. It still needs a poly coat but otherwise it's finished. This is one of those projects that took two days from painting the base coat, drawing the design then finishing it. Why? Because when I bought the sign that was the inspiration, I bought it with that wall in mind. You know that quote by Michaelangelo? About sculpture being the image escaping the marble? Well this wall has had this image on it since I saw the sign. I just finally let it show, I guess.

My next project is the dining room and I'm thinking of using an image from one of the pieces of antique sheet music currently hanging in the family room and doing a mural on the upper half the walls. The image is navy blue and off white so it would be easy to keep the current color on the bottom and touch it up where needed. I'm intrigued. The more I look at the dining room wall, the more this image keeps peeking through.

The one where I'm kind of a snob. Sorry.

2007-11-26T21:44:00.000-05:00

I'm just warning you, and apologizing all at the same time.

So this art group idea has me excited and a little worried. Excited because I've been part of a church in the past where the arts were a major thing (insert sniffly sigh of longing for Cedar Ridge right here.) We were technically in the suburbs when we lived in Maryland, but the suburbs of the metro Washington DC area are a long way from the suburbs of Cincinnati, Ohio, midwestern U.S. of A.

Please don't misunderstand or get all insulted. There is much to be loved about Cincinnati. I just feel like most of it is in Cincinnati and not much of it trickles out to the farthest suburban suburbs where we currently reside. I see the sameness of our neighborhood and rationalize that it's no different than our Levitt house in Bowie (where every third house is the same with matching neighborhoods in Pennsylvania and Jersey!) But down deep I honestly wish we were closer in, closer to town. In the city or one of the first suburbs. Do I feel like I'm missing out? I do. I readily admit it. But, do I feel like that's something that can't be changed even if we stay where we are? No. We can change it. But it'll be harder than it would have been back in Maryland. And a little scarier for me personally. Because there I had Betsy and Deedie and Sherri. Here? I'm at a newer church with no known co-conspirators. I know absolutely no one who admits a love for all things arty and bedazzled (Deedie. Patron saint of fabulousness.) And there are things I could say to Betsy or Sherri and even knowing I failed miserably at putting my ideas into words their ability to translate my rambling made me comfortable in myself. I miss knowing I had people to go to with my creative ideas who would "get it." I don't have that at Journey. Yet. Maybe I won't have that at Journey? Maybe at some point I'll become the Betsy or Sherri to someone else? (Ok... I admit, I like that idea.)

I need to go get some ink on my hands.

What was I thinking?

2007-11-25T21:34:00.000-05:00

Yeah, so we're doing this thing. On December 8th at 2:00. At my house. Seriously, what makes me think I'm qualified to lead this? I mean, I'm interested. And I was just thinking I'd really like to live in Arizona so I could work outside and make two-story tall metal sculptures. Strictly for the welding aspect of it (who cares what you make, as long as you get to use fire to join metal to metal!) Though I'm not sure what that has to do with anything at all.

So pray for this. For me. And for us, as artists and as believers. I'm not sure how many "us" there will be but even if it's just Jodi and me, we're ready to get this thing going.

I'm honestly afraid once I start talking art and God I won't be able to stop.

Selling.

2007-11-08T12:08:00.000-05:00

Well, God is moving and I'm going along for the ride. I was talking to some family and friends the other day when the money thing started and all of them were telling me I could sell my artwork or I should look into teaching classes and all day I kept thinking "Whatever." Rusty came home and I was telling him about all of these comments and I heard myself say, "If I'm all that and my work is so great then why doesn't anyone buy it?!" But at that very moment I realized... I've never tried selling it. I mean, I did a craft show at Cedar Ridge back in Maryland. I missed the first hour due to a sick child so I was only there for an hour. And I sold everything except for two pieces. Hm. But that was it. That was a special thing because it was our church and someone approached me and asked if I could be part of it so I agreed. I didn't do anything to seek that opportunity out (I'm starting to think I'm a bit lazy.)

Anyway, I'm getting to be more and more confident in my identity as an artist. But I was still hesitant to claim it as an actual "career" because it's not especially lucrative (until maybe after you die and become famous centuries later. Which is no help, really.) And with our financial stuff coming up, I wondered if it was irresponsible of me to try to do this now. But then I read this, it's part of a new study we're going to do as a small group:

Most of us want our opportunities gift wrapped. We want our lions stuffed or caged or cooked medium well and served on a silver platter. But opportunities typically present themselves at the most inopportune times as big, hairy, audacious problems, but lion-chasers don't see problems. They see 500-pound opportunities!

I love the way the Chinese language captures the two sides of this truth. The word "crisis" is made up of two characters - one means danger and the other means opportunity.

Problems are opportunities in diguise.

Chase the Lion - Mark Batterson

So, ok. I'm going to see what happens. I put something on Etsy and Ebay last night to kind of test the waters and see if there is any interest. They are the same style cards on each site, and kind of funky. But I need to get a feel for things before deciding which site is more reasonable and would be more visible and is worth the fees. Which could be neither. Or could be both. We'll see. You can check Etsy by clicking here (*EDIT 1/2008 - Only Christmas cards are online right now. After our trip to Maryland 1/16-21, I'll be able to work on some items and will post when they're available for sale.)

I'll be adding some graphics to the Etsy store site in the next couple of days. And I'm hoping to get a few more soldered pendants done (like these) and also some soldered glass collage Christmas ornaments, some samples of other cards, shower invites, postcards, handmade and handbound books, journals and all the other random stuff I've made but never really done anything with (check some of that stuff out by clicking here.)

If you ever needs anything like that? Call me. I do murals. Decorating. Furniture painting and even refinishing to a point. If it's visual and involves making something prettier, better, more balanced, or more fun? I'm your girl.

More thinking online.

2007-11-06T16:40:00.000-05:00

When I first started this blog I had posted a few challenges to make people try to think outside of their own little frame of reference as well as to help get your mind going. Things were hectic, like I said in that last post. I didn't give this as much attention as it deserved because I was just thinking of it as a hobby or an interest that didn't require much more than the extra few minutes I had after living my real life (a.k.a. doing laundry, feeding kids, cleaning bathrooms...)

But over the last few weeks I've been questioning some of why I believe what I believe. And I've come to the conclusion that God was hitting me with those questions to help me realize some things about myself and how I see Him and the world he created. I can't really explain it so I'll use a very generalized illustration: say you have a real estate agent, an accountant and an artist looking at a house. The real estate agent would note things like the location, the square footage and the school district. The accountant might pay closer attention to the cost of the house and what that entails, the taxes, and the property values. The artist would probably notice things like the architecture, the details like the fixtures and the light coming in from the windows. Would any of these three be more correct in their opinion than the other two? Are any of the opinions more valuable than the others? No. You could say that school district and location are most important but even in the best location/district, if that house is overpriced or overtaxed or if it's in horrible condition or just plain ugly? It won't sell, or if it does it'll take a lot longer. If that house is cheap and has a tax abatement, is the accountant more correct? No. Cheap and few taxes don't make up for ugly and being located next to a garage dump or subway system. If the house is horrendously decorated and totally box-shape like every other house on the block, is that enough to make the artist's opinion the winner by saying no one would value it because it's too horrible to look at or live in? Nope. One man's box is another man's mid-century dream. Spruce that baby up with some personality and its value lies inside anyway.

So what's the point of all that? Well, I'm the artist. And for a long time I believed that the artist's opinion is less important the accountant (or the business man or the scientist or pretty much anything else.) I'm not sure why, maybe because as a society we put a lot of value on technology and moving things forward and advancing toward the next horizon. Art is very much not about that. It's the opposite of that. An artist has to listen and form a vision of their work. I mean, it's not always quiet and reverant. Half the time I'm getting a vision for a project my iPod is blasting and my mind is racing. But it's not a race from beginning to end. It's more like when my kids are wound up and running around the yard in circles and running and screaming and laughing and ending up in a big pile in the middle with a big smile on their face. It's not about moving things forward. It's about moving things around. Looking at things differently instead of always looking ahead. And that's hard. Sometimes it seems like a waste of time, especially in our culture.

Ok, so I'm owning my identity and taking it more seriously. In our culture today? We need more art. More vision. More creation. And I think we, as artists, are called to help people take a break and see things differently and connect with our creator.

Pray for me, please.

2007-11-06T13:19:00.000-05:00

I posted this over at the Art Chick blog but am adding it here because it has to do with this whole process and getting this thing off the ground...

So we're in a little bit of a crisis. My school loans, which were in forebearance or deferred or something are suddenly not. The paperwork I faxed to one company was supposed to get sent to another and we just got a letter that said we have to start paying now. And by the way, the education loans? Are in default. So of course, I panic. I call and explain that I faxed the forebearance paperwork and the woman very kindly (seriously, she was nice) tells me that happens alot when the loans get sold or consolidated and paperwork goes to one office when it should have gone to another by then. But there's nothing they can do about it once it gets to this point. It's a government loan and there's no middle ground. She'd like to lower the interest rate but they can't. She'd like to give me lower montly payments, but again, she can't. And she sounded like she really meant it, too, which helped. But still.

Soooo. So. We don't have an extra $500+ a month lying around. We had planned to leave the loans in forebearance until the boys were older and I could either go back to work full time or by then have some sort of art thing going on that was able to bring in more money on a constistant basis. Our last three or four years were filled with this and this and this and some of this, so our finances h

But we're faced with a decision right now. Do I try to find a full-time job and put the boys in school latchkey programs? I'm not against working full-time if I have to. I'm not sure how I feel about the before and after school care, though. Liam is just now getting into a groove with school and the supplement he's taking to help with his OCD. I'm not real big on the idea of throwing another obstacle in his path. Not yet, anyway. He'll have enough obstacles as it is. And besides, I already have something on my mind that I really feel like God has put there. I'm just not sure what to do with it.

This faith and art thing. I'm going to try to write something else here in a bit to explain more about this first try I want to do. Something that explains where I'm coming from and explains what that first class/meeting/get-together would be. I believe that if God put this desire in me and gave me the abilities I have and even after praying the idea has gotten stronger and more fully formed instead of going away? Then I need to act on it. I need to "chase the lion" (thanks, DC theater church guy.)

Art thing?

2007-11-04T18:08:00.001-05:00

A lot of you have heard me talking or read my rambling about this Faith & Art idea. The store and teaching classes and whatever. It sounds great and I've been praying about it and I've come to the conclusion that God doesn't want me to start big. He wants me to just start where I am.

So here's the deal. Anyone who's interested in getting together and making a mess, talking, hanging out and figuring out how this works is more than welcome. Our basement is as good a place as any and if we move the couches and the foosball table and fold up the treadmill we can get a decent number of people down there. What would we do? Well, I have an idea that's come together over the last week of praying about this. It would kind of be a "class" I guess, but more open. I'll lead it but I don't want to teach - I want to bounce ideas off of you and get ideas back. I'm in it to learn just like everyone else.

The premise is this: Art is a form of worship. Whether you knit, paint, scrapbook, stamp, whatever. It's using your body and your abilities to glorify God. Some of us aren't comfortable putting ourselves out there in some ways but give us a blank page and we'll be busy for hours. But I know that scares some of you "non-artists." And that's the second part of this. Some who consider themselves "non-artistic" would be surprised to find out this isn't about technical ability. This is about seeing yourself and God and your relationship with Him in a way you wouldn't normall think about. The project I'd like to work on the for first try wouldn't necessarily be what some people would consider "art." But it's very visual and would give you something tangible to take home with you. And "icon", as Madeleine L'Engle might describe it. Something to trigger your brain into automatically remembering God's love for you.

So that's the deal. You wouldn't need a ton of supplies or have to spend much money for this (maybe $10 total, if that?) And I'm not sure I could pull it together before Christmas but if we can, then that's fabulous. Otherwise, I'm aiming for mid-January or later. Either leave me some comments or email me.

Thank you.

2007-09-07T18:28:00.001-04:00

Suddenly there was a great burst of light through the Darkness. The light spread out and where it touched the Darkness the Darkness disappeared. The light spread until the patch of Dark Thing had vanished, and there was only a gentle shining, and through the shining came the stars, clear and pure. Then, slowly, the shining dwindled until it, too, was gone, and there was nothing but stars and starlight. No shadows. No fear. Only the stars and the clear darkness of space, quite different from the fearful darkness of the Thing. - A Wrinkle In Time

Madeleine L'Engle
November 29, 1918 – September 6, 2007

More burning of the metal.

2007-08-24T22:15:00.001-04:00

*Edited to add this comment from my mom: "The photo doesn't do this justice, especially the wings!" (thanks, Mom!) And I agree, the photo is horrible. The silver is shinier in real life and the wings are definitely more cool in person too. Also? This is not something to be worn! It's just to hang in a window or on the wall (probably should have mentioned that before!)

So I am all about the soldering this week. I made this using a special photo, 2" glass pieces, some vintage glass beads and some brass angel wings soldered over and texturized (is that a word?) I've been waiting to use the gold crown charm forever and it was totally perfect for the size of the piece.

P.S. Sorry about the photo - it's hanging from the chandelier in my workroom and the lighting is kind of wonky. But now I'm in love with the possibilities of what I can do with glass and solder and anything metal I can stick on to them!

Soldering is fun.

2007-08-21T12:02:00.001-04:00

* X-posted to Art Chick blog as well.

So I have been obsessed with soldering lately. Actually, I've been obsessed with figuring out how to solder correctly. Apparently you need a soldering iron that actually gets hot enough (seriously?) I ordered some one inch square glass pieces online and they are a great thickness (2 mm) and give a lot more weight to the pendant.

These two photos are the same pendant, front and back. Notice the lumpy soldering job (I'll call it an artistic decision and pretend it's supposed to be lumpy. We'll call it "texture", thanks.) One side is cut from the queen of hearts card from a very old deck of bicycle cards and the "S" on the other side is from a vintage dominos advertisement. It think the vintage ad sheet came from Marco's? Or maybe The Queen's Ink. Not sure.

I've been wanting to try this because I have all kinds of ideas for it - I'm going to make Christmas ornaments using vintage Christmas postal stamps and papers, I want to try making a suncatcher with a photograph printed on transparency in between the glass and I want to see what other fun stuff I can come up with. I'll make sure to keep posting the results!

Inspiration.

2007-08-17T13:10:00.000-04:00

*This is a X-post with the Art Chick Blog

So these are some photos I meant to post earlier. They're samples from the Stamper's Anonymous booth at this year's Stampaway.

Some of these are cards.

Some of them are covers to art or travel journals.

All of them are three dimensional (and are in plastic covers which is why there is a weird glare on them in some shots.)

This is only one of the booths that just about made me swoon at Stampaway. The inspiration was overwhelming and the ideas and samples were beautiful.

I'm planning on making some more handmade/hand-bound books this fall. I'd love to add some of these three-dimensional elements to them along the spine and on the covers and even some inside cut out or niches in the book itself (so you'd have to write around a hole housing a little bead or charm.) I love the weight the three dimensional objects give the pieces overall - they go from flat cards to mini works of art that could easily be framed and hung on a wall.

I need to go clean up my workroom. And find my soldering iron.

This blog is not dead.

2007-08-13T00:08:00.000-04:00

Posting will resume on a regular basis when school starts for the boys in late August. I cannot wait. Bring your friends and tell your neighbors, people. We're going to be making a big mess over here.

Faith and Art.

2007-03-22T10:32:00.000-04:00

Oooooh, crap. Seriously. You know when you get this idea in your head? And, when it's in your head it seems so great and noble and cool? But then you put it in words and try to share what you're thinking with someone else and it just seems so flat? I hate that. Stephen King put it best when he wrote, "The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of because words diminish your feelings - words shrink things that seem timeless when they are in your head to no more than living size when they are brought out." (I think that's from The Body... I'll have to check.)

So, anyway. I had this idea. Kind of a physical embodiement of the whole "Faith & Art" thing. It started with a random comment from my mom (my mom is a great source of inspiration!)

There is a building I'm obsessed with. It's in St. Bernard (see this post to catch up on that whole thing.)

It's the building where my dad grew up and where my grandparents were the groundskeepers (and it's in front of the house where my mom grew up, though you can't see it in the photo. Her house faced the street to the side of this building.) I love this building. When I was little, my grandpa would take my brother and I upstairs to the large hall/meeting space and play church or play school with us. He sat patiently while I "taught" the class from the stage up front. There is a third floor that always seemed secret and that made it cool. I really hadn't thought much about this building in a while but after deciding to drive by it one afternoon after Christmas, I couldn't get it out of my head. My mom came into the equation when she casually said, "You should buy that place and open an art store and teach classes!" I blew it off at the time - because I wasn't looking to open any kind of store. Or teach any classes. But after I started thinking about it and praying about it, it didn't seem like such a strange idea. I mentioned it to Heather, who kindly told me I wasn't stupid for even considering something like this and by the way there are grants for things like rehabbing and preserving old buildings. Oh, and by the way again, Heather knows a thing or two about grants and generously offered to look into some things for me. And she didn't think it was stupid. Huh. Ok, God. I'm listening.

So my next step was talking to Jodi to get her opinion of whether something like this would work in Cincinnati. Would she come be a part of something like this if it were to happen? Did she think my vision of what it could be was realistic? (Jodi is the Vineyard queen and won't blow smoke up my... nose... if she thinks I'm being stupid.) Jodi? Was ecstatic. Once again, someone else understood my idea and was excited to be a part of it.

I started thinking about the article I'd read about St. Bernard. And how much it would mean to me personally if I were able to somehow be involved in something that would benefit the city. To be able to teach classes - to do a workshop on "Faith & Art" with people waiting to have that "ah HA!" moment would be amazing. But then the first roadblock... the building is not for sale.

I had to step back and decide if this idea is strictly because of my attachment to that building? Or would I be willing to try this in any open space that would fit the need? St. Bernard would be my first choice, but Norwood, Elmwood Place or even Clifton would be possibilities. Any of the First Suburbs would work. So I'm open. And hopefully after we get more info on a grant I'll be talking to my best friend's dad, a real estate agent in the area, about possible locations.

But then? (And here's where it gets hard for me) God put the brakes on. I'd kind of been feeling it but it hit me head on yesterday. I've been dealing with some stuff with God and church and just stuff. Some of it is justified and some is not. But the justified stuff is actually the most dangerous to me because if it feels like I have a right to feel a certain way then I usually close down and don't try to get beyond feeling that way. My relationship with God is good. My relationship with church is not. My time spent in prayer is not what it should be, though my random talking to God is up. I can feel myself resisting some things and I'm betting God just got the to the point where He's whacking me in the head with a spiritual baseball bat (because God is a baseball fan and I'm sure the bat metaphor is totally accurate and in the bible somewhere.) I'm being stubborn. But the scary thing that I'm not exactly sure what God wants from me. And I'm not entirely sure I want to know because I'm nothing if not aware of the fact that I owe my life to Him and can't turn Him down when he calls.

So. To sum up. Idea is cool. Grant money may be available to help. Building I want is not currently available. Feel God urging me to pray for the city of St. Bernard. Also feel that tension that something needs to give on my part and it's a little nerve wracking. Please pray for me and this insane idea (if I were still in Maryland, Betsy would totally know what to do with all this - Cedar Ridge is perfect for matters of "Faith & Art" ::insert pouty "I miss CRCC" whining here::)

King Edmund the Just.

2007-03-04T22:14:00.000-05:00

Rusty and I caught part of the Narnia movie on tv the other night. It was the part where Edmund is starting to understand that the witch really does suck and he's made a terrible mistake. I so identify with Edmund. I always have.

When I first read the Narnia books, when I was nine years old, I wanted to be like Lucy. I wanted to be the one who went in with everything to believe in, just happy to be there getting to experience it all. But I knew that Edmund felt more familiar. I hated that. He just seemed like such a whiner and so unhappy for himself and everyone around him! But as I've gotten older I realized I had come to like Edmund. He's just so human and when he finally is saved he is so thankful.

In the book, as well as the movie, there is a small scene when Edmund and Aslan are talking. Edmund's brother and sisters come running up, having just found out he is alive and back in their camp. Aslan tells them not to speak of what had happened because it's in the past and all is forgiven. I've always loved that little bit of the story - Aslan knows he's going to have to die in Edmund's place but he has really truly forgiven Edmund's selfishness and stupidity. And just to prove that the past had been forgotten, Edmund is eventually crowned "King Edmund the Just" at the end of the book. I love that.

Anyone have any characters you identify with - either in the Chronicles or any other books (or movies are fine), I don't care. Feel free to tell us about them!

Blog template updated to Blogger Beta.

2007-02-28T23:59:00.000-05:00

Before this blog could be revived, it had to go through "The Change" - from the old Blogger template (which was nicely personalized with the graphics and pretty whatnot) to the new "Blogger Beta-that's-no-longer-beta." We are officially switched and good to go. But if you notice any quirks? Let me know, ok?

"Quirks" = the layout... not my writing. Sorry.

Re-launch.

2007-02-25T23:18:00.000-05:00

This blog is not dead. Oh no. It was just taking a break because its author couldn't give it the full attention it deserved while packing, selling one house, moving halfway across country, making an offer on two new houses before finally buying the third that didn't have any problems with no-longer-relocating sellers or failed inspections, moving, decorating for Christmas, un-decorating for Christmas (mostly), suffering a lovely bout of bronchitus and finally watching her body revolt and decide it's going to secede from the union and run things its own way (see PCOS post, here.)

Aiming to re-launch in March. I unpacked my book...

Thursday Break

2006-11-16T13:49:00.000-05:00

I didn't forget you, my youngest is sick. You don't want details... trust me.

I'm finding it harder to write what I want to about Faith and Art when I'm not really creating any art! Other than painting my house, that is. Yesterday, while my son was laying on the couch and watched movies I was browsing some creative sites online. I figured until this blog gets back into deeper aspects of art and how it relates to our faith that I can try to post what I can and today that includes links to different things that may inspire you to take a look at yourself and your life and faith and create!

I'll be the first to say I truly believe in the premise of Madeleine L'Engle's book Walking on Water in which she says any art is Christian art if it brings to mind aspects of God's creation - whether that be visual or mental or emotional or whatever. One of my other favorite writers is C.S. Lewis (I debated trying to convince Rusty that we should name our second child Clive.Anyway...)

Check out some of these links and see if they make you want to think about the projects in a way that they relate to your life and experiences. Meanwhile, I'm going to try to dig out my copy of Walking on Water.

Pam Garrison's Blog. I don't know her but I enjoy her art.

Lisa Kaus Art Studio. Another one I just found during a search online one day. She has had her work featured on the cover of Somerset Studio. She has a blog as well, scroll down the page to find the link.

Kraf-O-La. Another randomly spotted blog. Like it a lot.

Junque Revival/Maine Cottage News. One is the shop site and one is the artists blog. The link will take you to the blog link page on the shop site (confused yet?)

Sally Jean. Love her style. Cute without being "cutesy." The one that started a trend with her mini-collage pendants and bubble pendants. So even though she's "popular" I'm keeping her on the list. Besides, when you click the "Enter" link to enter her site? That photo that comes up, the one with all of the pendants hanging from the ribbons and chains is beautiful. I love that photo. it alone is worth the link.

This little list basically shows what I've looked at over the last 24 hours online. There are so many more out there. Feel free to post links in the comments section if you'd like. I do ask that you don't post links to the "already famous" blogs of people like Ali Edwards, Donna Downy, etc. They're wonderful and creative and a fun place to visit. But they're also likely to be the links that a lot of people will find first in their searches. Let's try to throw out some more obscure names and sites!

Jodi's Cosmos

2006-11-02T09:28:00.000-05:00

Hey, people! Jodi found her "cosmos." She sent me an email saying,

"You may post them, or a link...that was a ton of fun. It made me find the stuff that makes me happy now matter how messy my house is."

She sent me pictures for your viewing pleasure (and to reiterate the point of this whole thing):

Bulletin board in Computer room, originally uploaded by Yoda0419.

Click here to view all of Jodi's "Cosmos" photos!

P.S. if the link to the "Cosmos" set wasn't working for you on that last post when I first posted it? It's been corrected.

Cosmos in Chaos (Part II)

2006-10-30T15:47:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I didn't see many comments from the last post and I wondered if maybe I ended that last post the wrong way? I totally didn't mean to go all Martha on you and say that your homes should be "art" or that you need to work on them or make them into Better Homes and Gardens or anything.

Disclaimer: I told you when this started that I'm bad at verbalizing things... I'm apparently all about the visuals, remember?

Anyway, I don't want anyone to think I'm asking for photos of a "beautiful" house. I mean, you can certainly email me photos of your beautiful house if you want. I love pictures! But what I was really trying to go for was the idea of finding beauty in the common, you know? It goes back to the "Cosmos in Chaos" that Madeleine L'Engle talked about in Walking on Water and the idea that if you can find any aspect of beauty or good or peace or "cosmos" (I love that term) then that art is "good" in that it is showing something of the divine. It sounds so stinking grand, but really? This house thing is the perfect example of finding cosmos in chaos because there is nothing more chaotic than our house at this moment in time. And house are so much a part of our daily lives that a lot of time we barely see them for what they are.

I really disliked our house in Maryland. It was a rancher with no basement and two bathrooms - the master bath and the boys bathroom. I hated that the boys' bathroom was the same one guests used when they came over and hung out. I know it's a little thing. But it's a thing. So I started to feel like I was hating all the "things" and not giving God the thanks for the blessing it was to have our own home in a housing market like the Washington DC area. I decided to take pictures of small things I could find about the house that I genuinely liked. Once I started really looking I found a lot of little corners and areas that were actually quite beautiful to me, like this:

So, having said that, here are a few examples of the small beauty I've been finding in my chaotic home lately:

Chaos in our dining room (HELLO dining room set refinishing project in progress!)

And then below? I consider this to be beauty in our dining room chaos. I'm not sure if it's the process of uncovering something old or if it's just the visual itself (and I think that's another part of finding the cosmos; a lot of times we find our beauty in something based on an invisible quality - something felt instead of seen) Anyway, my favorite piece of beauty in the refinishing mess:

So having said that, maybe my last post makes more sense in relation to the theme of this blog overall: not necessarily finding beauty in your home in terms of "prettiness" but more in terms of your own little bit of cosmos.

Also, here are some more "Cosmos" photos with a few from the house but mostly from random places we've hung out like the Inner Harbor, the farm, the backyard of our first house, etc. (there is nothing "pretty" about that rusted swingset from our very first house and yet that picture of the swingset crossbar set against the sky is one of my favorites.)

Click here for the "Cosmos" photoset on Flickr

*Edited to add: WOW! You guys are quick :-) Someone asked where I took some of the specific photos and what are they?
In this order...

1. Front door of the house at the farm (Indiana)
2. Spindle on dining room buffet (being refinished)
3. Swingset crossbar (our first house - Fairfield, OH)
4. Liam in the surf (Ocean City, MD)
5. Concrete cemetary urn (St. Mary's Cemetary - St. Bernard, OH)
6. Wagon full of geraniums (party favors for Lianne's bridal shower)
7. Skylight windows and columns at the Lincoln Memorial (D.C.)
8. "The Chesapeake" (ship, docked in the Inner Harbor, Baltimore)
9. Liam fishing at the farm
10. Seats at Cole Fieldhouse (University of Maryland, College Park, MD)
11. Liam fishing, Sean supervising at the farm
12. Old corn silo at the farm
13. Rusty and the boys walking (Baltimore Aquarium)
14. More skylights and columns at the Lincoln Memorial
15. WWII Memorial Freedom Wall (D.C.)
16. Dining room chairs (our current house)
17. Corner of our living room (current house)
18. Private mausoleum at St. Mary's (St. Bernard, OH)
19. Shade over the line for "The Beastie" at Kings Island (pre-2006; OH)
20. Wild flowers at the pond at the farm
21. Plastic models of the earth and moon (Liam's room)
22. Peony bud (our front yard in Maryland)
23. WWII Memorial Freedom Wall (Each star=100 Americans killed in the war. There are 4048 stars on the wall.)
24. Vietnam War Memorial (DC)
25. The end of our couch (our current house)
26. Liam in the sprinkler (backyard of our first house - Fairfield, OH)
27. Hydrangea
28. State wreaths at the WWII Memorial (DC)

Art on Hold

2006-10-22T21:27:00.000-04:00

Yeah. So, um... Hi. I'm not sure what to say because it's been so long. I started this blog with really high hopes and lots of ideas. The reality of our move set in and things happened and now it's October. I just typed out an explanation of what things have been like and why I've been absent. But it felt really wrong for this space. Over the last two months, since we've moved into our new place in Cincinnati (we moved from Maryland to Ohio in August) I have had zero creative time. My work room is a mess of bags and boxes. I haven't had my hands in the ink and glue for literally months. And apparently I've really missed it, though I didn't realize it until today. Or I guess I already knew I missed it, but didn't realize why until today.

Today, we found our new church. To be honest, we haven't been to church since we've been here. We knew we didn't want to go back to Vineyard* but we didn't know where to go otherwise. The astrick is to note that we very seriously love the Vineyard. To me, it will always be my church "home." It's where I came to know Christ and it's where we attended when we lived in Cincinnati before. But it's farther away. And Rusty and I have really been wanting to go to a local church that was involved in the community in which we live. Which is interesting because I can see now that we are wanting to practice the things we spent years learning from Vineyard -- to love and serve our community in the name of God. Our community is now just a bit farther northeast than it used to be. But I digress... our "new" church and why it's relevant to this blog and my creativity.

As I was saying, I knew I missed making art. I know I'm a visual person, to a fault at times. I figured I needed to create to get around the mess that this move has created. There are boxes and paint pans and rollers all over the place. There are hampers of clothes in the family room waiting to be gone through and either washed and put away or stored. It's just chaos. My art soothes the chaos in my life. So I knew I wanted to start creating again. But today, sitting in church and feeling a connection to the music and what the pastor was saying I realized that my desire to create wasn't about soothing me and my neurosis. It's about God and being able to connect to him in what is, for me, the most basic and personal way. My desire to create isn't a desire to "make stuff" as much as it is a desire to open myself up to God and glorify Him by creating. By sharing with Him that role of "Creator." And by being able to see so obviously that my creations aren't my own but my interpretations of my faith in God, my love for Him and my relationship with Him and with others.

Ok. So. Now I know the problem. But the simple fact is that my work room is a huge mess. I have no desk or table as of yet. And there are other, more important parts of this house that need to finish being unpacked or painted or whatever so they are usuable first. So where does that leave me? Well... I think that leaves me to start understanding that I need to practice what I preach (or... type. As the case may be.) This blog started on the premise that art is anything that creates, whether that creation is a scarf or garden or even a feeling or emotion. I am in the process of creating our new home within our new house. There are walls to be painted and furniture to be refinished. There are walls to be decorated and boxes to be unpacked. Because creating a home is creating a place for our family and friends to feel loved and taken care of.

So I'll go with that. And I'm so thankful that during today's service at church I really really felt God saying He missed me too.

I apologize for letting this go. I do want to get back into the study of the book... once I find it. But for now, this is it. So what does that mean for you? Well, you're not off the hook. Please, send me photos of things you love about your home. A corner you love to relax in. A wallcolor that makes your day every time you walk into the room. A piece of furniture you've painted or refinished or just salvaged and use as is (I have quite a bit of that.) Send me photos of what makes your home special to you - indoors or outdoors or even way outdoors. Sometimes is the neighborhood or city in which you live that makes any space you use "home." Let me see the artistry of your home and hospitality!

Derailed train of thought.

2006-06-19T23:51:00.002-04:00

Sorry. It's not that I haven't been thinking about the blog. It's just that we put our house on the market last week and have been dealing with all of the psychotic decluttering and cleaning and touching up that goes along with having to have your house ready to show at any random time. Woo hoo. Anyway, this next part of chapter two is something I really do struggle with quite a bit.

The writer does want to be published; the painter urgently hopes that someone will see the finished canvas (van Gogh was denied the satisfaction of having his work bought and appreciated during his life time; no wonder the pain was more than he could bear); the composer needs his music to be heard. Art is communication, and if there is no communication it is as though the work has been still-born.

Sweet fancy Moses! Seriously? Because every time I secretly long for someone, besides myself, to find meaning and joy in my artwork? I feel like admitting that would make me a sell-out. A bunch of my art professors believed in the purity of Ars gratis artis ("Art for art's sake".) There was almost a pride in not having your art published or "appreciated." At the time, I thought it was all so artsy and cool and whatever. Now? I sometimes wonder if that attitude wasn't just so some of those people could claim their art wasn't "appreciated" because the lesser among us just can't appreciate "true art" and believe themselves to be on a much more enlightened level than the rest of the non-artistic mere mortals below.

I know that's not the case for 100% of the artists out there who hold tight to the idea of art for art's sake and I'll get back to Ars gratis artis and it's place in what we're talking about at some point. But in this scenerio I'm talking about it's this attitude that carries a sense of pride in being so talented that no one can truly appreciate your work and so it's only real purpose to to be. To be created and to exist. And apparently exist to be only be accessed by those smart or cool or artsy enough to "get it." And if you do anything else with your work? Aside from letting it be? Then you are obviously a sell-out. Gah! I hate that ideology. Hatehatedetestpooyuckblech! It's not realistic. And it's not even really honest. I mean, come on. What artist really says, "I'm going to allow this piece to be born and yearn for it to just sit and collect dust and only be looked on by me and anyone I deem worthy who happens to come over for coffee..."? What's the use in that?

Madeleine L'Engle says, The reader, viewer, listener, usually grossly underestimates his importance. If a reader cannot create a book along with the writer, the book will never come to life.

I think that statement is very true. And what's more unfortunate? Like I said above, I think it's a very few artists among us who have perpetrated the belief that the public isn't capable of being important to art. For some people? It seems like the art is all about the artist; that it's a means of learning more about that artist instead of letting the artist help the public to learn more about the art itself. To the these people? The art is just another adjective to describe the artist, no more important than the clothes they wear or their favorite foods.

Madeleine goes on to say:

So there is no evading the fact that the artist yearns for "success," because that means that there has been a communication of the vision: that all the struggle has not been invalid.

Ok. So? Where does that leave me? What does success me to me anyway? I mean, in today's world success is usually measured by the amount of money or fame you have. Is that the kinds of success we want as artists? I'm sure there are some people who create their art in pursuit of those things. But I'm not sure I'm one of them. I think I used to be. I think I felt like I had to be able to say I'd been paid for my artwork before I was really allowed to say "I'm an artist" because calling myself an artist seems to indicate an occupation or a role I play in society. And then you're right back to the idea that if you're good at your job? You get paid or become well known for it. Now? I'm thrilled with how many artists there are out there carrying day jobs. Insurance, Directors of Litergical Arts (shout out to Betsy, yo), and stay-at-home-moms who run households and do laundry and feed children and do hundreds of other things that they'd get paid for if they did them for someone besides their own family. We are all so much more than our occupation, regardless of what it is. We are who we are and we just happen to do different things for a living.

So what do I consider success? Connecting. Touching someone with your particular brand of art. Being good at what you create. And by "good?" I mean being good at allowing that part of you that creates to be free to create what it needs to, to step back like Madeleine wrote in chapter one and let the art take over. Let the teaching take over. Let the writing and knitting and gardening and creating take over. And when it does take over? It's honest and real. It applies to someone's life. It affects people. Even if that affect is elliciting a genuine smile or feeling of comfort or joy or hope awe at true beauty (hydrangias in bloom stop me dead in my tracks every time.)

I'll be honest, I have a family that I would like to help by contributing to the budget somehow. Occasionally I get freelance graphics jobs and have to suck up the fact that my version of art and the client's version often doesn't quite match up. But again... an occupation. But the few times I've tried to buckle down and create unsolicted art for the sole purpose of selling? The art was dead. And what's worse? I HATED it. Actually couldn't stand to look at it and what I had left was thrown away because it felt artificial. Throwing it away felt more honest than keeping it and made me so much happier. I'm weird. I know. I'm not saying I don't want to be paid. That would be lovely, thanks, to have someone connect with my work to the point where they say, "I believe in this and appreciate it to the point where I'm willing to pay you to let me keep it and make it my own." I'm all for that.

So I have to figure out a balance. But at least I can say, out loud without fear of being pelted with paint brushes and chisels (sculpture classes, you know), that I would love success if that success were to come about because other people connected somehow with what I create. Translating "Art for art's sake" into "Art for people's sake" may be more accurate?

Heather's glimpse of beauty.

2006-06-15T01:03:00.000-04:00

I love this picture because it says so many things about the relationship not only between sisters but also between children in general (they're nuts you know) and the idea that a hug and smoochie (thanks, Sean) can make anything and everything alright again.

Heather wrote:

Here's my latest pic of beauty -- It's my girls ... and it just sums up sisterhood so BEAUTIFULLY! Are they fighting? Are they comforting? Are they in love with each other? Do they want to hurt each other?

Yes. They are sisters!!

Photos. From you guys.

2006-06-14T16:17:00.000-04:00

I received two great photos, one from Heather and one from Jodi. They have to do with that last post. I forgot to ask Heather if I could post hers (it's a wonderful photo of so many things all at once. Expect an email from me asking permission to post it!) Jodi gave me her permission to post her photo along with an email that came with it. The following is Jodi's email:

Your blog entry had me all misty there at the end. I tried to comment but it wouldn't let me. I've been meaning to take a picture of 2 rings I wear all the time that are symbols to me. One is just silver band that was given to me by my friends who are missionaries, in Indonesia. It was given to me by Jen just before they left, she was getting rid of stuff she wasn't taking with her, I got this ring and a cool necklace. The ring helps me remember to pray for them since I never take it off, it's also a reminder of the call that God has on my life for mission work to a far off country someday. The other ring is one that my husband and I both have, it's a celtic symbol that means everlasting friendship. I gave it to him during a time in our marriage, that was extremely difficult, and friendship is what held us together. We both never take them off, they actually mean more to me than my wedding ring. (which is broken, is that bad?)

Whoa.

2006-06-05T10:04:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I posted that last one and hoped someone would send me some photos to post for an easy update to the blog. Why? Because I need easy right now. We are moving. Halfway across country. We're leaving the Washington D.C. area and heading to the Cincinnati, OH, area. There are many reasons and we've prayed about this move since the beginning of the year. We had very specific prayers that received very specific answers. God's cool like that.

All of that isn't to say that we're happy to leave behind the life we've built here. We're leaving a lot of very good friends, a great school and some of Rusty's family. I've been alternating between relief that the job offer came and we're moving and then bouts of sniffling because I hate the idea of saying goodbye to Ashley and Deedie and Sherri and Betsy... which is funny in a way because I haven't seen Betsy and Sherri in a long long time. And yet when I do see them, it's like no time was lost in between visits. Betsy is also one of my favorite email friends, so I won't be "losing" her altogether.

Anyway, we are trying to get our house on the market this week (anyone want to buy a rancher with a brand new kitchen? And great paint colors? And a tiny little workroom to call your very own? Yeah? Then email me.) I will be busy for the next two days until we meet with the realtor. I don't want to post something just for the sake of posting it and then miss the mark because my brain was too full of "to do" list items to really see and write what it is that God is trying to get across through Madeleine L'Engle in this book. This blog has become too important to me as a place to think out loud on this stuff. I don't want to give it any less than it deserves.

So. Does that mean there will be no posting until we move? No way! There will most likely be less study from the book, though. But that doesn't mean the discussion and thinking about art and God has to stop. I've been particularly struck by the beauty in my every day life lately. The view from our back window, the beautifully tall trees here in Maryland, the colors at Great American Ballpark in Cincinnati, the ability to lose oneself in something as trivial as baseball and the belief that your rallycap did, indeed, win the game for the Reds. I'm finding myself with more and more of these kinds of photos:

I have tons of photos sitting on my hard drive waiting to be printed and hung. And to a lot of people they're probably photos of nothing (with the exception of the first one of Liam at Ocean City. But someone did point out, "You can't see his face." My response? "The picture wasn't of his face. It was a picture of how much he loves the beach.")

So why did I post these? A few people have emailed me and said they're thrilled that someone considered them artistic enough to read this blog but they sounded slightly apologetic in their emails. As if you're not artistic enough somehow. I posted these pictures as a way of saying sometimes you don't even have to create to be an artist. As long as you recognize the beauty around you every day, you are, in a way, an artist. A lot of people go through life upset about the rainstorm instead of staring in amazement at the beauty of the clouds and the smell of wet concrete. I didn't create any of the things in these photos. But to me, they were glimpses of beauty in themselves or by what they represent to me.

Welcome back!

2006-05-30T20:02:00.000-04:00

Hey, guys! Did you have a nice weekend? We traveled, I took a lot of great photos and spent time with my family. Doesn't get a whole lot better than that, eh?

So. Who decided to create an icon and give it away? I don't want to just jump back into things in case anyone wanted to show off their icon projects. If you did something? Send photos to post -- I love photos! (my hints aren't so subtle, are they?)

I'm going to write more on chapter 2 in a bit. There are some interesting quotes that have made me want to think on them a little more before putting them out there...

(p.s. post some pictures!)

Memorial Day Weekend

2006-05-24T22:18:00.000-04:00

Hi, everyone! I want to give everyone a heads up before I disappear on you for the weekend. Don't worry, the blog isn't going inactive. We're going out of town for the long weekend and will be gone from Thursday until Monday night. I will be back online with somethingoh-so-interesting to say (uh huh...) on Tuesday.

I have an assignment for you but it's not artistic. If you've been meaning to get the book and haven't gotten around to it? Pick it up sometime over the weekend. I'd love for you to be reading it too, so you can keep me in line and let me know when you think maybe I've missed the mark. Accountability is a good thing.

Second thing. Any of you who are reading but feeling like you don't really count as a "real" artist, or writer, or creator of things such as gardens and baby blankets and such? Try to get over it this weekend! I whole-heartedly call you an artist. If you are interested in this topic and this blog at all, you have to have some sort of creative streak going. Creativity is creativity. Take it and run with it. BE AN ARTIST. Stop comparing yourself to what you think other peoples' ideas of artists are. You are here. I'm glad you're here.

Have a fabulous and safe weekend, everyone! See you back here on Tuesday!

Icons of the True

2006-05-23T12:48:00.000-04:00

Ok, if you didn't read the revised version of the last post, please go and read it first. It's ok, we'll wait up for you...

Great. Alright, so I think this section of the chapter is really really good for clearing up some of yesterday's questions in regard to "Is it good is it bad or does it matter?" Remember, I did say that the narrative of this chapter flows so smoothly from one topic to the next that I was afraid I would chop it up and it wouldn't make as much sense. The very next paragraph after where I left off? says this:

It is impossible for an artist to attempt a graphic reproduction of Jesus in any way that is meant to be literal. I sympathize with the Hassidic teaching that it is wrong to try in any way to make pictures of God or his prophets... But in a way, both miss the point which the Eastern Orthodox artists are taught when they study the painting of icons...

The icon of Jesus may not look like the man Jesus two thousand years ago, but it represents some quality of Jesus, or his mother, or his followers, and so becomes an open window through which we can be given a new glimpse of the love of God. Icons are painted with firm discipline, much prayer, and anonymity. In this way the iconographer is enabled to get out fo teh way, to listen, to serve the work...

Francis of Assisi says that "In pictures of God and the blessed Virgin painted on wood, God and the blessed Virgin are held in mind, yet the wood and the painting ascribe nothing to themselves, because they are just wood and paint..."

Sooooo. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that when Madeleine says those unrealistic portraits of Jesus are "bad art"? She means if they are taken literally, or meant to be taken literally. But Jodi is right and this also goes along with what I said about the example from The Secret Life of Bees. It does depend on the intent of the artist and the heart of the viewer. But since the viewer is not always viewing the art with the artist present? They have to view it honestly and with God in mind. And since we, as artists, may never meet our audience? We need to be aware of things that could be misread and misinterpreted. But that's it. I don't think you can freak yourself out about how everyone could possibly take your work. You'd be such a nervous wreck that you'd never be able to write or paint or knit again. And there is always someone, somewhere, that will be offended by anything, even a white canvas with nothing on it ("How dare you call that canvas 'white!' It's ecru, for the love of all things perfect and right in my little tiny world! Your lack of knowledge of colors insults me and everything I stand for!!")

So. Icons. That's not a word that was used a lot in my protestant upbringing. But there are icons in the protestant church. Our wedding rings are icons. The precious metal isn't anything holy in and of itself. But what it signifies for a husband and wife is so powerful that it changes your life from the moment you put it on. Manger scenes are another icon that's popular in just about every type of church regardless of denomination.

For me, when I first read this chapter, right away thought of my Emmaus Walk (I linked to it so you can find out what it is without me having to take time to explain it. Plus I don't think I would do a very good job!) During the Emmaus weekend you are flooded with what they call agape, which is a small item whose sole purpose is to let you know that other people are praying for you and reminding you of specific ways God loves you. These things were pretty simple -- handmade bookmarks, magnets, things you would use in everyday life. But the words on them or the notes that were sent along with them made them so much more. Every time I look at my little plastic canvas rainbow magnet? I remember my walk, the people who cared and prayed so much for me even though we'd never met and the way God works in my life. Seriously? I'm so not a plastic canvas fan. But when I look at it? I don't see that. I see the agape. That magnet is an icon for me.

We all have icons, even though we don't recognize some of them for what they are. It could be a drawing by your child that is a masterpiece of the their love for you. It could be a heartfelt gift someone picked out especially because they knew you'd love it. It can be a photograph of a place or time that's meaningful to you. I think icons are just another way God allows a part of Himself to be with us. Sometimes it's not directly. The icons I mentioned in the last few sentences don't scream "God! Christian! Religious!" but the love and friendship and happiness they remind us of are certainly gifts from God and by holding those feelings close to our hearts we are honoring the One who created those feelings in the first place.

Ok, so maybe it's time for another challenge? This one has two parts. You can do either of them or both of them. They're pretty low-key, especially the first. So, part one is to think about what little things you hold dear to you and why. Things that are icons to you. Think about why they are, what they mean for you and pray and thank God for what they represent and if someone gave them to you? Pray and thank God for that person and for their thinking of you at the moment and for Him to bless them in some way. Part two? Is think of someone you care about. Take a few minutes and make something simple, like a bookmark or a written note or a knitted hat or packet of their favorite flower seeds. Before you give it to them, pray over it. Pray that God will use that small thing to encourage that person and remind them of your love and of God's love. Then give it to that person and tell them why you're giving it to them. You can explain the icon thing if you want. You can also do it for yourself if there is something special, even spiritual, that you want to be reminded of when you look at your item. I'd love to hear what you come up with and have photos to post here if you make something. I can't wait to see what kinds of things you guys will come up with. Remember, there is no time limit or deadline. This is just something you can try if you want, to help make the idea of icons more day-to-day real for you.

Here are some examples of things you could do: two of them are postcards I made for friends as encouragment for the weight loss efforts. The small book is from a group I made for friends from my small group who are very special to me. Each one was made with that friend's personality and the trait that makes them special to me in mind. I hope that each time they use them they realize how much I care for them.

The one where Madeleine tackles "Bad Art"

2006-05-22T10:03:00.000-04:00

**Edited, please read!**

I spent quite a lot of time worrying if this post would offend anyone. You know why? Because I don't want my post to be "bad art" and turn anyone off to reading more of this book or more of this blog. I'm leaving the intro and the passages from the book but taking out most of my wondering if this or that is bad art. My opinion in still the same, which is pretty much in line with the book. But, with one exception. I do think that what's bad art for some can be good art for others. I originally said I didn't think so, so let me explain why I changed my mind. The first reason is because I realize that not all of us are in the same place spiritually. We all come from different traditions and denominations. We can't possibly know what speaks to whom. And I'm so sorry if I came off sounding like I think I do. The other reason I changed my mind on that point? I started thinking about the book The Secret Life of Bees. In it, the sisters have a "black Madonna" and that is their inspiration because they are able to relate to it. I've seen pictures in which Jesus is portrayed as Asian or African, so why not also a blond white guy? Personally, I still don't like that painting of Jesus. And for me, personally, it's bad art. But I can't speak for anyone else (and I had a paragraph saying that in the original post but I'm not sure, at that point, if anyone would have still been reading.)

So, Madeleine starts this chapter off talking about choice. Talking about how our ability to choose is what makes us human. But she also talks about people who have chosen to not believe in God because they can't reconcile the fallen world we live in to what they believe a loving and all-powerful God should look like. She says:

But even when one denies God - to serve music, or painting, or words is a religious activity, whether or not the conscious mind is willing to accept that fact. Basically there can be no categories such as "religious" art and "secular" art, because all true art is incarnational, and therefore "religious." The problem of pain, of war and the horror of war, of poverty and disease is always confronting us. But a God who allows no pain, no grief, also allows no choice. There is little unfairness in a colony of ants, but there is also little freedom. We human beings have been given the terrible gift of free will, and this ability to make choices, to help write our own story, is what makes us human, even when we make the wrong choices, abusing our freedom and the freedom of others... It is the ability to choose which makes us human.

(I'm going to do a lot of quoting here because I know not everyone reading this has the book and I can't do this justice by just paraphrasing.)

This ability, this necessity to choose, is an important element in all story... Oedipus killed the man he met at the crossroads, and even though he did not know that the man was his father, that did not allow him to escape the retribution which followed his choice... Though we may cry out, "But I didn't know!" our anguish does little to forestall the consequences of our actions. To the non-believer, the person who see no cosmos in chaos, we are all the victims of the darkness which surrounds our choices; we have lost our way; we do not know what is right and what is wrong; we cannot tell our left hand from our right. There is no meaning.

But to serve any discipline of art, be it to chip a David out of an unwieldly piece of marble, to take oils and put a clown on canvas, to write a drama about a young man who kills his father and marries his mother and suffers for these actions, to hear a melody and set the notes down for a string quartet, is to affirm meaning, despite all the ambiguities and tragedies and misunderstanding which surround us...

We see that wisdom and that awful grace in the silence of the Pieta; in Gerard Manley Hopkins' poems; in Poulenc's organ concerto; but we do not find it in many places where we expect to find it. This confusion comes about because much so-called religious art is in fact bad art, and therefore bad religion. Those angels rendered by grown-ups who obviously didn't believe in angels... Some of those soppy pictures of Jesus, looking like a tubercular, fair-haired, blue-eyed goy, are far more secular than a Picasso mother and child. The Lord Jesus who rules my life is not a sentimental, self-pitying weakling. He was a Jew, a carpenter, and strong. (holy cow! Preach it, sister!)

I'm going to be totally honest here and admit that I can't stand those pictures of Jesus that she's talking about. I've never liked them. There was one that hung in the nursery at the church we went to when I was little. I felt no draw towards that Jesus. Actually, Jesus looked half asleep in that picture. He didn't look real to me. And I've heard other people say the same thing. So how did this picture become widely accepted as "Jesus"? And if it is "bad art", was it an intentional decision to make Jesus less middle eastern and more European? Was in an act of prejudice on the part of the artist or just a sincere desire to identify with Jesus by making him a blue-eyed blondish sleepy guy? How do we know? How do we ever know the artists real intention, unless they state it? And... (here's the kicker) does their real intention matter if it's just... wrong? Like Madeleine's example states, just because you make an ignorant mistake doesn't make it any less a mistake. But is this image of Jesus "bad art"?

I mean, obviously, this image of Jesus is not physically accurate. But what if it does help some people identify with Jesus? Does that then make it good art? I don't know. I consider it bad art. But can I judge the artist? No. Only God can. What do you think? Please, I'd love to hear your opinions! I only ask that you remember that your opinion is just that - opinion. It's no more valid or less valid than Madeleine L'Engle's opinion, my opinion or that of anyone else caring to comment. Be respectful.

Note to Heather

2006-05-19T11:05:00.000-04:00

Hmm. Maybe your artwork for the challenge doesn't want to stay inside the lines :-) I say go where it wants to go!

Faith.

2006-05-18T10:03:00.000-04:00

Ok, so back to finding cosmos in chaos. What does it take? How do we do it? I don't think we do anything. And at the same time? We have to be doing something all the time. I know it sounds like I'm contradicting myself and I'm hoping I can explain this so it makes sense.

In terms of doing as in the "correct action to take"? I don't think there is one. This is art and creativity. There are a million actions you can take that are all just as good as the next. But when I said we have to be doing something all the time? I mean we have to be aware. We have to retain that imagination and creativity that can only exist if we are open to our feelings and our impulse to create instead of trying to make something because it's the latest style or to get something sold or because it'll be "good Christian art."

I think that takes faith. And though we, as Believers, throw around the word faith quite a bit I think we pretend to know more about it than we really do and we pretend to be much better at it than we sometimes are. I think sometimes we confuse faith with understanding. The end of chapter one of Walking on Water talks about this confusion.

And how could one young, untried girl contain within her womb the power which created the galaxies? and she goes on to say If it can be verified, we don't need faith.

I don't need faith to know that if a poem has fourteen lines, a specific rhyme scheme, and is in iambic pentameter, it is a sonnet; it may not be a good sonnet, but it will be a sonnet...Faith is what lies on the other side of reason. Faith is what makes life bearable with all it's tragedies and abiguities and sudden, startling joys.

Personally, I think the difference between faith and understanding is this: understanding is knowing. Faith is believing. You can't know something without cold hard facts. But you can believe anything. We don't have to understand or know anything to have faith. I believe in the Trinity of God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. But I have no clue how that's possible to be three in one. I don't know how that works or how it looks. But I have that feeling down deep inside that tells me it's true.

Madeleine L'Engle goes on to write more in chapter one about faith:

Mary did not always understand. But one does not have to understand to be obedient. Instead of understanding -- that intellectual understanding which we are so fond of -- there is a feeling of rightness, of knowing, knowing things which we are not yet able to understand.

A young woman said to me... "I read A Wrinkle in Time when I was eight or nine. I didn't understand it, but I knew what it was about."

As long as we know what it's about, then we can have the courage to go wherever we are asked to go...

So far this post has sounded a lot more like a lesson on faith and not much on art. But I really think faith plays a huge role in art. But not necessarily in the way we might think. We might start thinking that, for a Christian, to create Christian art means that person should have God on their minds specifically when they start their project. After all, we are Christians and we're trying to glorify God. We're not those heathens that don't know any better (I don't really think non-Believers are "heathens" but I like that word. It's fun to say so I threw it in there.) But honestly, I don't believe that's true. I don't think sitting at a work table or computer monitor thinking "It has to be about God it has to be about God it has to be about God..." is going to produce the most "Christian" work of art for Him. I think we need to let it go and give in to the project. Let it honestly take control and God will be there. God doesn't need us to validate Him. He knows He exists. I think it's more about letting Him show us who He is and surprising us with how He does it.

When the artist is truly a servant to the work, the work is better than the artist... When the work takes over, then the artist is enabled to get out of the way, not to interfere. When the work takes over, then the artist listens... Getting out of the way and listening is not something that comes easily, either in art or in prayer.

Some people might take Madeleine's words there to be a little scary. I think they're great because they mean we don't have to try so hard to create something "good." Usually our method of trying is going about it all wrong anyway. But we are cautioned that getting out of the way takes patience and work of a little different kind on our part:

Someone wrote, "The principal part of faith is patience," and this applies, too, to art of all disciplines. We must work every day, whether we feel like it or not, otherwise when it comes time to get out of the way and listen to the work, we will not be able to heed it.

She compares it to trying to discipline yourself for prayer. And really, they are very much the same process.

The prayers of words cannot be eliminated. And I must pray them daily, whether I feel like praying or not. Otherwise, when God has something to say to me, I will not know how to listen. Until I have worked through self, I will not be enabled to get out of the way.

I so think as Christian artists we do have an advantage over non-Believers when trying to create works that reflect real beauty or honesty or life. I don't think we have an exclusive right to it, but we definitely have the advantage in that we who have faith and a relationship with God really know Him (regardless of our understanding anything about Him.) We have a frame of reference that gives us a head start. Even without trying our faith infuses us with with the ability to paint or write or sing God into anything we create.